10/21/24-Get Busy Living...Or Get Busy Dying

One of the best movies ever is "The Shawshank Redemption."  If you haven't seen it, you should, it is truly a perfectly developed story. 

In the movie is based on a book by Stephen King where Andy Dufresne sentenced to prison for a crime he didn't commit and how he delt with the time.  Consider this a possible spoiler warning, but the movie is 30 years old, so see it if you haven't already.  

In a scene Andy (played by Tim Robbins) is talking to his friend Red (played by Morgan Freedman).  Andy says its time to "...Get busy living or get busy dying."  I think he means there are really two paths in life.  If you don't have a goal to work towards in life you are only working towards your eventual death.  Working towards death is the default,  Everyone needs to be an active participant in their life.

Over the last 6 months, since I got sick, I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.  I have been upset by the limitations I have on what I can do.  I have mentioned some of those limitations here.  I can't work, exercise is difficult at best.  I have spent a lot of time just watching TV.

But, like Andy Dufresne, maybe I need to look to what I can do, rather than focusing on the things I can't.  Can I go back to work?  Maybe I should do some type of exercise.  Probably not to the level that I could before, but I can do things.

I have realized over the last few weeks that if someone looked at me they probably would be surprised that I have cancer.  I think at a casual glance I don't look like someone who is undergoing cancer treatment.  I still do get around reasonably well.  I'm able to drive myself places.  My outward attitude is still relatively positive, or at least I hope it is.

If people can look at me and not realize that I am sick, maybe I shouldn't dwell on that fact either.  I need to figure out what my limitations are and find things I can still do.  I do believe I can get back to work.  Not 40 hours a week, but I do think I can find a reasonable amount of hours that I can work around my treatments, procedures and recovery.  I need to figure out a way to get some activity and exercise into my daily routine.  Maybe it's just to go for a walk.  Maybe it's to do some easy bodyweight exercise.

Hopefully I can do these things (and more).  I'd love to build on them to get the way I live my life closer to what it was.  I can't live my life waiting for the inevitable end, but need to get the best out of the time I am here on Earth.

I am not going to break out from a literal prison like Andy, but I can break free of the walls I have set up for myself by focusing on the things I can't do and instead I can look towards the things I can still do.  Or maybe I just need to get a Rita Hayworth poster for the wall?