S&F-"Sede Vacante"

My Latin lesson for the day. "Sede Vacante" means "The seat is empty."  Specifically, this week that seat refers to The Chair of St. Peter.  It means we have no Pope.

It has been almost a week since Pope Francis died.  I have used this week to reflect on my feelings during this time when we have no Pope.

My first feeling when I heard the Pope had died was to pray for him and his soul.  I assume that Popes get to use an express lane to get to the Gates of Heaven for their judgment but even though Pope Francis was a loving and humble man he can still use our prayers as he faces his final judgement.  I hope that when my time comes I also get those prayers.

Unfortunately, it wasn't too long before my thoughts turned to the future of The Church.  To be honest I struggled with Pope Francis.  I found some of the things he said confusing.  He seemed afraid to make a statement that might hurt some people's feelings even if The Church's teachings have been clear on some facts for 2000 years.  I would never go as far to call Pope Francis heretical, but some of his writings seemed contrary to The church's traditions.  I believe his legacy is one of confusion and unclarity.

So this week, a week I should have been thinking of the Pope's soul, I found myself looking forward to the possibility of a different type of Pope.

This is wrong for two reasons.  Not only should I have been reflecting on the soul of Pope Francis, but I need to remember that the Roman Catholic Church is not a political entity.  We complain about our political leaders.  But the Church is led not by men, but by Christ.  How can I, as a lowly human, ever question the direction of the Pope who is leading the Church on Earth as the Holy Spirit guides him?

That is my pride coming out.  One of the seven deadly sins.  I need to realize that I don't know more than the Lord.  I may not like the Pope, but I do need to love him.  And I need to have the humility to accept that whoever the Pope is, he was chosen by the Holy Spirit, through the Cardinals, as the Pope the Church needs at the time.

I look forward to, what I think, is one of the two best things that I as a Catholic, experience.  Along with the physical presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, we have the gift of Reconciliation in confession.  I realize my guilt in my feelings this week about the Pope's passing.  I feel bad about my hubris and pride in thinking I know what is best for the Church.  But in confession, I will be forgiven for that and any of my other sins.  And in this I can be closer to Christ.

If you are Catholic, I encourage you to get to confession.  It might have been years since you last confessed your sins.  I know it's not easy to go to confession.  I used to feel this way.  I didn't know what to say.  I didn't know the prayers.  It's hard to be vulnerable enough to tell someone else what you did that was wrong.  But, rest assured, the Priest will help you through it.  And, most importantly, with God's grace you will feel better afterwards.

Finally, I do want to say a final prayer for Pope Francis as he was laid in his tomb early this morning.  The Basilica of Mary Major of may be the final resting place for his physical body, but I know that his soul rests in the bosom of heaven with all who went before him.  He gave his life to God and the Church, served faithfully and practiced humility.  He should be an example of how we should all lead our lives.  I don't say good bye to our Spiritual Father, Pope Francis, but I say see you someday when I too, will be at Heaven's Gates.  May I live the rest of my life with Pope Francis as a guide so I can join him, eternally one with Christ.