4/30/25-The State of Cancer

Based on the warnings on the Proposition 65 warnings on everything here California must be the State of Cancer.

But that's not the definition of state of cancer I was referring to here.  Where are we as a society in treating and curing cancer?

A year ago I knew almost nothing about cancer.  We had to learn a little about it in nuclear power school, but other than that I was ignorant.  I didn't even really know very many people who had delt with cancer.

That has all changed over the past year though.  I'm still pretty ignorant, but do know some people who have dealt with and are still dealing with various forms of cancer.  I know people who have died from it.  I know family members of cancer patients.  I know oncologists.

So what have I learned?  We are a long way from curing cancer.  We are a long way from truly understanding cancer's causes (even though the State of California seems to think its everything).  We really don't even know the best way to treat cancer.

I have done chemotherapy, both via IV and in pills.  I have done a month's worth of radiation.  I get the impression we are just throwing things at a wall and seeing what might stick, but we really aren't treating the cancer.  I've had scans and we really don't know if anything is working.

I know that early diagnosis is the key to cancer treatment.  We seem to be trying to get better at this with mail order colon cancer screenings and periodic mammograms.  But until we can figure out what really causes cancer we are just trying to catch something before it gets out of hand and untreatable.    And there are so many forms of cancer we can't screen for them all.

We all took a shot a few years ago that altered our RNA.  Was any thought given to the long term effects of that changing how our DNA reproduces might have an effect on how our cells work and may lead to cancer increases.  Why was there no Proposition 65 warning on that shot.  But I digress from the political.

Then there's the disagreement on cancer itself.  I have read articles on the thought that cancer should be treated as parasitic and treated by dietary interventions to decrease inflammation and the like.  Those treatments sound interesting to me and some can be done while undergoing chemo and other treatment methods.  So why did I not hear anything from my doctors on this idea?

It's because we are nowhere near understanding anything about cancer it's causes or its treatment.  We have been in a war with cancer for over 50 years.  We still don't understand the enemy we are trying to fight against.  We are losing that war.  And I see the victims every time I go to treatment or to see my oncologist.  We see the victims in those left behind.

We have a big world with all the nearly unlimited resources to fight this war against the enemy growing in us.  I hope someday we really invest in this war and can figure out what we need to do, either in prevention, treatment or cure.  But, to be honest, I have my doubts.  Until we do cancer will continue to win.  And eventually it will get us all.    

S&F-What if I disagree with the Catholic Church?

The Catholic Church has said that the death penalty should be outlawed.  Basically, as I understand it, we on Earth should never sit in judgement on someone's life regardless of what they might have done.

I have to admit I struggle with this.  As I see it if someone chooses to take a life in anger they should give up their right lo live themselves.

And that's hard for me.  I really try to follow the guidelines of the Church.  While I would never take a life and I'm not sure if I could vote to put someone to death if I was ever on a jury and had the power to do so, I have a hard time with allowing a murder to live after they ended the life of another.

So what do I do?  If this was 500 years ago, I might just look to leave the church and form my own religion.  In some way I'd find myself in the same situation as Henry VIII who broke away from the Catholic Church because they wouldn't allow him to divorce.  The founded the Anglican Church.  Or I could see myself as Martin Luther who broke away from the Church founding Lutheran Church because he had issues with indulgences the Church was giving.  These are oversimplifications of the situations, but they are examples of times that people were unhappy with the Church so they looked to reform the Church by separating themselves from it.  There are more examples of schisms in the church, but that's not what I want to reflect on.

So what do I do when my personal feeling disagree with the Catholic Church.  There have been many times over the past few years as I investigated my faith where I either didn't understand the views of the Church or even flat out disagreed.  But I choose to dig deeper into my faith and understand why the Church makes the declarations as they do.  Sometimes I still don't agree.  But then I pray and reflect.  I look to the foundations of my faith and realize that I can live with the difficulties of dealing with some of the things I might not necessarily agree with.  I can do this because I believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior.  That's what's really important.

And that's what I pray for.  I have heard there are 30,000 sects of Christianity.  That's a lot.  This allows people to shop around for a church that they like.  Or the best singing.  Or one that has the best coffee bar in the foyer as they enter (ok, maybe if being facetious with that one).  These churches talk negatively on each other trying to be become the biggest and best church.  Some focus on going after the Catholic Church's adoration of Mary or transubstantiation of the Eucharist as evidence of heresies in their view.

I pray that someday all Christians can look at their similarities rather than their differences.  We are all united in our faith that Jesus was our savior and gave his life for us.  That's what the word Christian means.  The ship has probably long since sailed to unify us under one Church (although I'd love for that to happen), but there is no reason we cannot be united in the foundations of our faith and figure out a way to live together.  God willing we will all be together in Christ someday in heaven.  We just need to figure out a way to get along here on Earth.

4/27/25-You've Got a Bad Friend In Me

If you haven't seen Toy Story, you totally should.  Its almost 30 years old now and still holds up as one of the best movies I have ever seen.

But this is not going to be a review of a movie from a movie that came out in the 1990's.

The theme song from the movie was by Randy Newman (I think this is my second post inspired by him...hopefully he doesn't expect royalties from me using him as an influence for my writings) called "You Got a Friend in Me."

I have had many friends over the years.  I have had people who have helped me through tough times.  Friends who I could talk to.  Friends who truly understood me.

And, looking back, it occurs to me I'm probably the worst friend to have.  Because I have never made the effort to maintain friendships.  Today, at 53, I don't think I can say I have close friend.  And that's my fault.  I'm a bad friend.

I tend to close the book on parts of my life once they are over.  I have moved on from childhood, school, the Navy.  And when I move on, I forget about the ones who were really important in getting me through those times.  And that's just not right.

Even today, people I work with have invited me to do things on weekends.  And I seem to always have an excuse to not be a friend and take them up on their offer.  Old friends have been visiting the area.  If I was a better friend I would have seen those times as an opportunity to rekindle our relationship.  But bad friends like me always find a reason to not make the effort.

If I was a better friend I might even make the effort to see those people myself.  I could drive to Orange County.  I could fly to Pennsylvania.  But I am such a bad friend I can't even find the time to call an old friend who might live a few miles away and see if they want to catch up.

I'm not going to mention all the friends here, because I don't want to risk forgetting anyone.  But I do want to say to all of you out there I do miss you all.  Thank you for your friendship.  And most of all I'm sorry for not keeping in touch and letting that relationship die.

Rest assured I do consider you all my friends still, even if you are stuck with a "Bad Friend in Me."

S&F-"Sede Vacante"

My Latin lesson for the day. "Sede Vacante" means "The seat is empty."  Specifically, this week that seat refers to The Chair of St. Peter.  It means we have no Pope.

It has been almost a week since Pope Francis died.  I have used this week to reflect on my feelings during this time when we have no Pope.

My first feeling when I heard the Pope had died was to pray for him and his soul.  I assume that Popes get to use an express lane to get to the Gates of Heaven for their judgment but even though Pope Francis was a loving and humble man he can still use our prayers as he faces his final judgement.  I hope that when my time comes I also get those prayers.

Unfortunately, it wasn't too long before my thoughts turned to the future of The Church.  To be honest I struggled with Pope Francis.  I found some of the things he said confusing.  He seemed afraid to make a statement that might hurt some people's feelings even if The Church's teachings have been clear on some facts for 2000 years.  I would never go as far to call Pope Francis heretical, but some of his writings seemed contrary to The church's traditions.  I believe his legacy is one of confusion and unclarity.

So this week, a week I should have been thinking of the Pope's soul, I found myself looking forward to the possibility of a different type of Pope.

This is wrong for two reasons.  Not only should I have been reflecting on the soul of Pope Francis, but I need to remember that the Roman Catholic Church is not a political entity.  We complain about our political leaders.  But the Church is led not by men, but by Christ.  How can I, as a lowly human, ever question the direction of the Pope who is leading the Church on Earth as the Holy Spirit guides him?

That is my pride coming out.  One of the seven deadly sins.  I need to realize that I don't know more than the Lord.  I may not like the Pope, but I do need to love him.  And I need to have the humility to accept that whoever the Pope is, he was chosen by the Holy Spirit, through the Cardinals, as the Pope the Church needs at the time.

I look forward to, what I think, is one of the two best things that I as a Catholic, experience.  Along with the physical presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, we have the gift of Reconciliation in confession.  I realize my guilt in my feelings this week about the Pope's passing.  I feel bad about my hubris and pride in thinking I know what is best for the Church.  But in confession, I will be forgiven for that and any of my other sins.  And in this I can be closer to Christ.

If you are Catholic, I encourage you to get to confession.  It might have been years since you last confessed your sins.  I know it's not easy to go to confession.  I used to feel this way.  I didn't know what to say.  I didn't know the prayers.  It's hard to be vulnerable enough to tell someone else what you did that was wrong.  But, rest assured, the Priest will help you through it.  And, most importantly, with God's grace you will feel better afterwards.

Finally, I do want to say a final prayer for Pope Francis as he was laid in his tomb early this morning.  The Basilica of Mary Major of may be the final resting place for his physical body, but I know that his soul rests in the bosom of heaven with all who went before him.  He gave his life to God and the Church, served faithfully and practiced humility.  He should be an example of how we should all lead our lives.  I don't say good bye to our Spiritual Father, Pope Francis, but I say see you someday when I too, will be at Heaven's Gates.  May I live the rest of my life with Pope Francis as a guide so I can join him, eternally one with Christ.

4/26/25-A Disappointing Year

I don't know what the actual date I was diagnosed with cancer.  I probably should.  But its been basically a year since I was diagnosed with cancer.  And I've wasted the year.  I'm disappointed in myself.

I have had many times in my life where I wanted to get get healthier or eat better.  Or exercise more.  But I always have said I will start next week after I finish my bacon cheeseburger and fries.  Or I'll get on a better workout program next month.  

But I never did.

Then I got cancer.  You think that would have been a wakeup call to finally change my ways and try to get healthier.

But then I would think about the fact I'm dying anyway so why shouldn't I enjoy a piece of pizza or french fries?  So I would eat them even knowing that I should try to eat better to help fight the cancer.  Or maybe I should go in on some of the holistic strategies to fight the cancer.

Cancer should have been a wake up call.  I should have made some changes to my life to be healthier.  But I never did.  Now a year has passed and I'm basically right back where I was, physically the same, actually probably a little worse.  My diet is not great.  My weight shows that.  I'm not really exercising now.  And I'm definitely not doing anything that might help fight the cancer.

That leaves me feeing disappointed.  I should have spent this year trying to get healthier.  To use my own body to fight the cancer.  But I fell back into the old habits, trying to enjoy the time I had left.  I found myself just waiting for bad news, waiting to die.

At one point my oncologist said that I probably had a year or two left.  If that's true, I have wasted one of those years.  But, to be honest, I don't think that's that is the time frame I need to be set on.  Deep down I do believe that I can extend that time, but only if I figure out a lifestyle that allows me to get healthier while still allowing me to enjoy my time on Earth.

4/20/25-I Miss Getting High

Did I get your attention with the title?

Today is 4/20 day, a day when people celebrate the day by getting smoking special herbs for some reason.  I'm not going into my feeling about this because I don't want to debate the issue.

What I am going to talk about is my history with vices.  I don't know if this is hard to believe, but I have never smoked a cigarette.  I have never done an illicit drug.  I don't even like taking medicine when my doctor tells me to.  My history with alcohol is actually very limited-maybe a beer or two a year-and I can count the times I was actually drunk (my Navy days) on one hand and have fingers left over.

I don't hold anything against people who use alcohol or smoke cigarettes.  It's just not something I have chosen to do in my life.

But that doesn't mean I didn't have my own personal vice.  For years I exercised daily.  I delt with sore muscles and exhaustion. I spent money on gym memberships and running shoes.  I researched places to run and read books on human physiology.  I even got my degree in kinesiology so I could understand the best way to exercise.

Why did I do all of this?  There is a feeling, when you workout really hard, sometimes past your limits, and the adrenaline, endorphins and dopamine reach that perfect level of equilibrium.  You feel the so called runner's high.  It didn't happen every time.  In fact, that feeling was quite rare.  But the quest for it kept me going out day after day working hard to feel that high.

Since I got sick a year ago I haven't really been able to exercise.  And to be honest for quite some time before that I wasn't able to work out to the level I was used to.  I though I was just getting old, but now I know it was the sickness growing inside of me that was limiting my strength and endurance.

It has been a long time since I ended a workout with that special chemical combination and felt that runner's high.  I will probably never feel it again.  And I miss it.

S&F-Easter and the Holy Land

One of the things I did during Lent is following the daily reflections in the Hollow App.  This week they concluded it with what they called "Holy Week in the Holy Land."  Where Jeff Cavins and Johnathan Roumie visited some of the most holy places on earth as they followed the path of Jesus during his last days.

It reminds me of my visit to Israel and Jerusalem when I was in the Navy 25 years ago.  I visited those same locations that they showed in their videos.  I walked those same steps, the steps that Jesus took 2000 years ago.

When I was there it was a dangerous place to visit.  We were not allowed to visit Bethlehem to see the Naivety.  We were not supposed to walk freely around the old city of Jerusalem.  I took a tour that took us to the Church of All Nations, built on the area where Jesus prayed and was arrested.  We walked a the Via Dolorosa, the path Jesus took with his Cross.  Our tour ended at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, where the Crucifixion and Jesus's burial took place.  Being able to touch the spot where the Cross once was is one of the most fulfilling moments in my life.

One other thing that I remember as I reflect on my journey to the Holy Land is the fact that in one view I could see the some of most important places in three religions.  Walking distance from each other are the location of the Crucifixion (Christianity), the Temple Wall (Judaism) and the Dome of the Rock (Islam).  These 3 religions are able to coexist together and have for hundreds of years there.  I find it strange that they cannot find the same common ground in the world.

I wish I could go back to the Holy Land.  I think I would definitely appreciate it more today than I ever did so long ago.  Unfortunately, visiting that area of the world today is one that is not done without risk.  It was dangerous 25 years ago, and things are defiantly worse now.

I'm not going to delve into the politics and current events, as this is not the forum for that talk.  I will pray this Easter Sunday for peace throughout the world and especially in the Holy Land.  Making that pilgrimage safe for all people no matter their religious views should be something we should all hope for.

So, please join me in a prayer for peace in all the world, and particularly in the Holy Land on this most Holy of all days.
  

S&F-Silence and Joy

 

Today is a strange day in the church year.  For the day we reflect on a day without Jesus.  He was placed in the tomb.  His Apostles, probably afraid they would suffer a similar fate, were in hiding.  This is a pivotal date in the beginning of the Church.

We spend the day reflecting on Jesus's descent into Hell to reclaim the souls of those suffering there, including those guilty of original sin Adam and Eve.  This is both a sad and happy day where we have lost Jesus but are finally able to be together with Jesus in heaven.

The pinnacle of the day is the Easter Vigil Mass.  It begins in the darkness, lit only by candles.  We listen to a series of readings chronicling the salvation story.  The lights finally are lit as we proclaim the presence of Jesus and celebrate his resurrection.

One of the things that Mass features is the initiation of new people in our faith.  They are welcomed by receiving baptism, receipt of the Holy Spirit and Holy Communion.  Honestly, I used to have issues in this process.  It always seemed like bundling the Sacraments all together doesn't give the proper attention to each of the Sacraments.  It seemed like, to me, it would be better to separate receiving the Sacraments separately would be better in featuring each of them and their importance.

That changed last year.  I was sitting in my normal seat in the church and saw a young woman who was going through the initiation rites.  The smile on her face was one of pure joy.  She was almost glowing in her glee knowing that she was about to be unified with Christ.

Seeing her changed my opinion on bundling the initiation rites.  If someone is ready to be part of Christ's family, why make them wait to experience that joy that I saw in that young woman? 

S&F: It is Finished

There are some differences in the Gospels when you look at for Jesus's last words.  The last words of Jesus according to John are "It is finished."  Since John was present at the foot of the Cross, I tend to think that is the true last words.  After all, if you were there, wouldn't you remember his last words?

The way we, as Catholics, celebrate the days from Holy Thursday to Easter is by treating them as one single event.  Holy Thursday mass just ends.  There is a procession of the Eucharist but there is never a real ending to the mass.  Everyone just leaves the Church in silence.

Good Friday is the only day during the year that we as Catholics do not have a mass.  We do have a service to venerate the Cross.  We might pray over the Stations of the Cross, remembering the path Jesus took to his crucifixion and the sacrifice he made to redeem the world from our sins.  But since we are focusing on the death of our savior we don't have a reason to celebrate.

Saturday night the triduum finally concludes with the Easter Vigil Mass. We read the story of salvation, culminating with the celebration of the Resurrection.  We welcome new members to our church by celebrating the sacraments.  Finally, our three day service ends with a blessing to go out and proclaim our faith.

So, today I think its best to focus on the cross.  Jesus wasn't carrying his cross.  The cross represents all of our sins.  That's why its so heavy.  So heavy he needed Simon of Cyrene to help bear its weight.

We should all look to our own personal cross.  It might be heavy as well, and we probably could use help carrying it.  We just need to look to Jesus for help in prayer.

"Jesus my cross is heavy, and I'm so tired.  Please help me."

Jesus invites us to follow him.  If we are tired and weary in him we can find rest, because his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

S&F: Dinnertime

Today begins the most important part of the year to Catholics, the Easter Tridium.  Our service tonight is a special one focusing first on the humility of Jesus by washing the feet of his disciples.  The service then moves onto the centerpiece of our faith, the gift of the body and the blood of Christ in the Eucharist.

I don't know if all Christians hold the Last Supper in such high regard as Catholics, but I would assume that part of being a Christian and following the bible means that they too hold some sort of reverence to the events of Holy Thursday.

We, as Christians, should be unified in the events that happened over the next 3 days and their importance regardless of the differences in some of our dogmatic beliefs.

This is the first Holy Thursday, where we celebrate the Last Supper, since the ridiculing of the Leonardo DaVinci painting at the Olympics opening ceremonies.  I know that the painting is just a depiction of DaVinci's view of the events in the upper room, but in that moment the organizers thought it was ok to make fun of the beliefs of billions of people in the world.

Why is it ok to make fun of and ridicule Christians but not other religions?  What would have been the reaction if there was mockery of social issues like LGBT or racial discrimination?  I dare say the Olympics may have been shut down.

I was disappointed on the response from Rome and the Pope following the Olympic opening ceremony controversy.  I didn't hear any outcry from other Christian churches as well.  Its time we, as believers in Christ, notice the presence of evil in the world today.  It's our job to call it out and evangelize for the saving of people involved in the sin ridiculing God.  We should be calling out the hypocrisy of those people who support and allow the mocking of our beliefs. 

I pray for the unification of all Christians against modern contempt of our consolidated faith.  It is time for us to stop being pushovers, afraid to proclaim and defend our faith.  We need to stop being afraid to push back when we are mocked.  We have many biblical examples in church history of people risking their lives to defend Jesus.  Some of them lost their life.  In most cases we will never have to defend our faith over risk of our life.  But we shouldn't be afraid to defend our beliefs in the Lord because someone might cancel us. 

S&F: The Tale of 2 Disciples Part 2-The Cock Crows

Peter was given the keys to Heaven.  He was the rock on which Jesus would build his Church.  He was the first Pope.

In reading the Gospels over Lent I have learned the Peter was far from perfect.  In fact, none of the Apostles were.  There were many situations that Jesus was frustrated with them because they didn't understand Jesus's teachings or bickered amongst themselves about who was the greatest, wanting to be on Jesus's right and left in the kingdom.

But Peter was the chosen one, so he should be the most faithful, right?  Afterall, he did walk on water with Jesus (for a short time).  He was the one who, when asked knew that Jesus was the "...The Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

So what happened after Jesus's  arrest?  Peter stood next to his Master and proclaimed his faith for him?  Nope he denied him.  Not once but 3 times.  Then the cock crowed to remind Peter that Jesus had foretold exactly what had just happened.

So what did Peter do?  Did he go off and punish himself like Judas did?

No.  He wept, for he had denied the Lord, but this only made his faith stronger.  If you read the Gospels and the Act of the Apostles it becomes obvious that at that moment a change came to Peter.  He realized that his denial was a moment of weakness, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, he became the person Jesus knew he could be.  Proclaiming the resurrection, and leading the Church, showing the Way to God.

It took a moment, actually 3 moments, of weakness for Peter to realize his mission.  If we just listen hopefully we can find out what our mission for God is as well.  Not all of us are destined to lead a Church, but we are all destined to proclaim Jesus's love for all.  That is the Way for us to become one in Christ for eternity.     
 

4-16-25: Not Allowed to Celebrate

I finished radiation today. 7 weeks of traffic to La Jolla, getting zapped, followed by more traffic home is over.  This should be a time to celebrate the end of a stage of treatment.  But as things go for me over the last year there is no joy in Mudville again. Just as one door closes another seems to force itself open. 

I am now having issues with my biliary drains.  I was already going to get them checked and changed at the end of the month, but they seem to be feeling neglected and can't wait that long.  For 2 consecutive days they have leaked.  This means uncomfortable times of the feeling of a wet sponge being held against my side.  Its especially uncomfortable knowing its not wet with water but soaked with bile.  And the most I get to look forward to a bandage change, which also sucks.

These are the times when it's hard to be positive, but I'm trying.  I really don't know what is next and the uncertainty makes it even harder to look to the future with a positive attitude. 

Sorry this is such a downer, but that's how cancer goes. It's a wave of highs and lows.  The hope is that the highs are longer and higher than the lows are low.  Unfortunately, right now the low is pretty low.

S&F: The Tale of 2 Disciples Part 1-Just 30 Pieces of Silver

Today the plot against Jesus really comes to a head.  The Chief Priests who want to kill Jesus find their ally.  Judas agrees to betray Jesus for 30 silver coins.

I often wonder how much 30 silver coins is really worth.  In today's value the silver itself would be worth a couple of hundred dollars.  In Jesus's time 30 pieces of silver is about the equivalent of 4 months of skilled labor.

It was obvious that Jesus knew what was going on.  After all he was both God and Man.  He knew there would be an unridden colt for his entrance into Jerusalem.  He knew that there would be a room for he and his disciples to celebrate the Passover meal.  When he choose Judas to be one on the 12, did he choose him knowing what he would do?  Did Jesus choose Judas specifically to be his betrayer?

I think Jesus hoped when he made Judas one of his chosen, that Judas would embrace Jesus's mission.  But God gave us all freewill and obviously there was enough doubt in Judas to allow Satan into his heart.  Once that happened Jesus's fate was sealed.  As was Judas's.

The part of the story that really is sad is how Judas reacted.  After it was done and Jesus was taken away, Judas did realize he had done wrong.  He went to the Chief Priests and tried to give the silver back.  But he was looking for forgiveness from the wrong people.  I do believe Jesus loved Judas as he loves each one of us.  I do believe Jesus would have forgiven him.

Judas fell into deep despair, and eventually died alone by hanging.

Hopefully we can realize no matter what we may have done, Jesus's forgiveness is unlimited.  And if we show faith in Him we will never be alone, even in death.  

 

S&F-Confessions of a Cradle Catholic III: Angry Jesus

Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all those engaged in selling and buying there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. And he said to them, “It is written: ‘My house shall be a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a den of thieves." (Mt 21:12-13)

Jesus is always thought of as being peaceful and accepting, but remember he is fully man, and obviously he has a temper as well.

This is not the Gospel today, however, in going through the events of Holy Week this is one of my favorites and it gives me a chance to rant, which, as a grumpy old man, I love to do.

Every Christmas season for as long as I can remember I go to Church every week and see the parents from the school peddling gift cards in the back of the church.  While the people buying the gift cards get them at full value, the school gets a cut on each card purchased.  Huh?  Are these parents just the money changers?  Am I allowed to channel my inner Jesus and flip their table?

I know what you are saying.  The gift card sales aren't jacking up the price of the gift cards or charging interest of something.  So the idea of gift card sales does not have a bad intent.  But I'm sure that there were people in the temple area just trying to make money they needed to support their family by selling goods during while the celebration of Passover was going on.  They didn't have a negative intent.  But Jesus still took his whip and drove them from the temple area.  Good intent does not mean good reality.

While flipping the table and making some cool speech would be cool, I resist my urge to do so.  I just don't think it would be accepted unless Jesus actually did it.  However the purpose of this Cradle Catholic Series is for me to fix the Church, at least in the view of a grumpy old man.  So here's my wish for the gift card sales this holiday season, stop selling gift cards, like the money changers, in the house of prayer.  They can distribute order forms but move the actual transaction to the school office or to the rectory.

Now I know when I look at the back of the church this Christmas season I'm sure that nothing will change and I'll see school parents doing their duty and selling gift cards.  Once again I will resist my urge to shame them for turning the church into a den of thieves.  But I tell you this, if I see them selling doves back there I can not be held responsible for my actions.  Those tables doves and all are gonna be a flippin.

S&F-Holy Monday: Judas asks a Question

In today's Gospel from John we are placed in the home of Lazarus, whom Jesus had recently raised from the dead.  We see one of his sisters, Mary, anoint Jesus with oil and drying his feet with her hair.  Judas Iscariot was confused by this and questioned why those oils were not being sold and the money given to the poor?  Jesus then foretells again of his coming death, when the oils will be needed for his body.

In some ways I can understand the question that Judas asks.  At this point he would look on Jesus as someone who is rooted on humility and care for the poor and downtrodden.  The Jesus he thought he knew would have wanted to increase his effect on the poor rather than glorify himself.

What Judas missed is the second part of what Jesus said, where he eluded to his coming sacrifice, where they would always have the poor but would no longer have him.

So what do we learn from this passage?  I think while we can put ourselves in Judas's shoes and wonder what we can do to help the poor, we should look towards Jesus's whole mission.  We can do what we can to help the poor in our daily lives, but we can also remember that Jesus said the least on earth will be the most in Heaven.  In some ways the best we can do for the suffering on earth is to glorify God everyday and give thanks for Jesus's sacrifice to restore our relationship with Him.

I know that I don't have a lot of people who read this blog.  And I'm sure that even less read my posts on my faith.  But if I can just get one person to think about the importance of their relationship with God for their eternal life it makes it all worth it.  Realize I am praying for all of you, especially this week when we celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord. 

S&F-Palm Sunday: Our Hero Enters the City

Over the Catholic Liturgical year there are many special days on the calendar.  The two big ones are Christmas and Easter.  They are so big that they have whole seasons (Advent and Lent) devoted for preparation and time periods after to celebrate.

While both are important, I always find myself drawn to the Lent/Easter as the one that means more to me personally.  And I think the reason is Holy Week, which starts today.

Today, with Palm Sunday, we reenact the entrance of Jesus into Jerusalem.  With the reading being the entire narrative of the Passion from Jesus's praying in the garden, to the arrest, scourging and crucifixion we get all the highlights of the week to come.

And that's what I love about this week.  I can wake up every day and think about what Jesus was doing today on his week leading up to his death.  This is a good time to imagine being present in the events of Holy Week week Jesus.

Today I picture myself in the crowd, watching Jesus sitting on the donkey entering the gates of Jerusalem.  I see myself as one of the Jews in the crowd cheering the living God entering the city.  Is this going to be the time that Jesus is going to fulfill the prophesies and take his seat at the temple?  Is this the time where he is going to overthrow our Roman oppressors?

We know now that Jesus's mission was not to triumph as an military hero, but to have a victory over sin and to restore our relationship with God.

But, 2000 years ago, the typical Jew would have still looked to Jesus as someone who was going to call down the wrath of God on the Romans and restore the kingdom on earth.  And that is why Jesus is being celebrated as a conquering hero on his entry to the city.

How does the attitude change so much that we go from cheering Jesus to demanding for his death over the next week?  That's the journey we, as Christians go, on over Holy Week.  It's exciting to walk with Jesus over the coming days and I am looking forward to documenting it here.    

4/12/25-Sports!

For as long as I can remember I have been a sports fan.  I grew up watching baseball and following my hero, Tony Gwynn, every night.  I loved the "Showtime Lakers" and Magic Johnson.  I would spend my Saturdays watching college football and Sundays watching the NFL.

When Wayne Gretzky was traded to the LA Kings I instantly became a hockey fan.  I knew that March was for the NCAA basketball Tournament, April was Masters Golf, May was the Indy 500 and Father's Day weekend was Golf's US Open.  My tennis viewing was built around Wimbledon.  The Olympics were an every four year obsession.

As I got older I added NASCAR and even some Formula-1.  Every night ended with the mandatory viewing of ESPN's SportsCenter.

I was so into sports that I named my children after some of my favorite athletes, Steve Yzerman and Jeff Gordon.

I just realized it's Masters weekend and I tried to watch it, but had no interest.  I haven't watched the NCAA Tournament in well over a decade.  The NBA is dead to me.  I don't know who the top ranked tennis players are now.  I don't care enough to try to figure out the scoring system in NASCAR.  I barely recognize baseball from the game I grew up loving.

So what happened?

This might just be a grumpy old man rant, sitting on his porch, yelling at the clouds, but at some point sports became less about the team and more about the individual.  Athletes are more concerned about their brands and endorsements then even winning in some cases.

Take the example of Labron James, who is the poster child of the decline of the NBA by taking days off for "rest."  His brand is lack of hustle and whining about calls.

The typical college athlete makes so much money in NIL that they don't care about their school or their team.  They enter the "transfer portal" at will to move onto another school where they feel they will be better compensated.  And don't even get me started on how they have forgotten the "scholar" part of scholar athlete.

NASCAR and baseball were both sports rich in their tradition.  However, in the modern era of low attention span, both have made changes to their sports to make them more appealing for today's viewers.  Why does baseball limit pitching changes?  Why don't we make pitchers hit in the National League?  Why is there a runner on 2nd in extra innings?  Why does NASCAR stop the race and have a half-time break?  Why does NASCAR need a playoff?  None of those things improved their respective sports.

Don't even get me started on the demise of ESPN and SportsCenter.

All I have left is hockey (Go Vegas Knights) and football (which I mostly watch to spend time with my kids).

I know that I am not the audience that sports cares about anymore.  I think they are just waiting for all of us old men to die off so they can truly embrace turning sports to something that can be digested in YouTube Shorts.  Maybe the Olympics should be sponsored by Tic-Toc.  

But I miss sports.  I miss reading the stats.  I miss following my idols.  I miss planning my weekends around the big events.

So to the NBA, MLB, NASCAR, College athletes worried about NIL, ESPN and the like I say:

You have all ruined something that was once a good source of entertainment and a distraction from the hustle and bustle of daily life.  You have turned sports into a shell of what it once was, full of narcissists and crybabies.  You all have ruined a part of my childhood and made it somewhat unrecognizable from what I loved.  To you all, thanks for absolutely nothing. 

S&F-Jesus Doodles

 

Today's reflection is inspired by the Gospel from this week's mass, the 5th Sunday in Lent.  The reading is from the John's Gospel, 8:1-11. 

It is the story of the Pharisees and scribes bringing a woman caught in adultery in front of Jesus for judgement.  Their goal was to try to catch Jesus by either him saying stone her, showing a lack of mercy or saying let her go in violation of the law of Moses.  Neither is good for Jesus.

He responds by ignoring them and writing the dirt.  When pressed he says:

 "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

Everyone eventually leaves and Jesus forgives the woman's sin telling her to sin no more.

In my life I have heard many homilies about different parts of this Gospel.  Things like: 

• Adultery is a sin committed by two people, so where is the man?  The answer-don't know!
• What was Jesus writing in the dirt? The answer-don't know! But I have heard maybe he was writing the sins of the Pharisees and scribes to remind them of their sins.  I prefer to think he was just doodling like any other man.

As I was listening to the homily today another thing came to mind.  Jesus could have just been influenced by the crowd and gone with the majority opinion.  But he didn't, he made a judgement based on what was right rather than what the crowd wanted.

How does this relate to us today?  In my opinion sometimes the Catholic Church today finds itself interjecting itself into the world's social and political issues.  Maybe it is LGBT issues, women priests, abortion, immigration or environmental issues.  And in those cases The Church make judgements based on what society wants for fear of repercussions from media or world view.  The Church makes statements as to not hurt people's feelings.  And in doing so they come out wishy-washy and unclear.

I can never tell the Church was to do but I miss the times when the Church was more focused on the spiritual.  They made declarations based on what was in the teachings in the scripture, tradition and the magisterium rather than what might be politically correct.

The Church should try to not be in the world, but of the world.  

4/5/25-Let It Go, Let It Go

 

I have seen the movie Frozen one time.  In my opinion, it, like most modern Disney movies is good but not memorable.  Granted, I don't think middle aged men are the target audience for this movie, so I might not be the best person to review it.

If you haven't seen it, this is what I remember.  There are 2 sisters.  One has the powers of Mr. Freeze from Batman or Frozone from the Incredibles, and can freeze stuff at will.  Pretty cool, I think.  Slurpee's at anytime without going to 7-11.

But she doesn't like her powers for some reason and separates herself from her sister.  In order for the sisters to get back together and for Princess Freeze to accept her powers they meet a live snowman, an ice farmer, and a reindeer names Sven.  Sven should be the star of this movie.  

Anyway through the power of song the sisters get back together and everyone lives happily ever after and they go to work at various Disney parks in a ride.

I think I got it right.  If there's something I missed let you can let me know in the comments.

 Anyway one of the endless parade of songs it called "Let It Go."  While I can't remember any of the other words to this song or what it was really about, the title does have some good advise. 

Today, it seems to me that there is a lot of unhappiness and division in the world.  Due to social networks people feel they can rant and rave on any topic that bothers them.  And due to the size of places like Facebook and X (or whatever) they get affirmations that their feelings are right.  If they get a negative response in the comments they either ignore it or worse talk down to the person who made the comment.  Social networks are largely an echo chamber for hate and discontent.

The other thing that this leads to is people feeling that, because they get confirmation, they are making a difference rather than realizing that, even though you might have thousands of followers, you are not changing people's minds in a post, no matter how many sources you site to back up you opinion.  I venture to say that there are just as many sources to refute your position.  That's just the way the modern media works.

The truth, in my opinion, is we should all take a lesson from Anna (or Elsa-I don't know who actually sung the song), and "Let It Go."  I'm not saying that people cannot write opinionated things on Facebook.  But realize you are not making a difference.  You are spreading discontent.  You are breeding hate by not being open to discussion.  And hate and discontent just leads to unhappiness.

I realize that this post may be controversial, but I speak from experience.  I made a conscious effort to step back from the negativity on social networks over the past couple of years.  And I feel I am better for it.  I really don't go to Twitter at at all and refuse to join Tick Tock.  I am still on Facebook, but only for a limited amount of time every few days.   I make an effort to avoid and posts that might be divisive.  And I feel happier for making those changes.

So, for all of you out there, maybe its time to at least try to "Let It Go" a little.  Maybe it will improve your outlook on life.

Oh-and if you haven't seen it, watch Frozen.  It's actually pretty good (to watch once). 

S&F-Confessions of a Cradle Catholic II: Catholic School

I never got to go to Catholic School.  I was a public school kid and am very proud of it.  However, both of my kids did get the privilege of  being able to attend a catholic school and I realize that it is something that should be taken advantage of if a family is able to do so.

However, this is my series on rants about the church, so you know there is going to be some problem with Catholic School that I have an issue with.  Before you say, what do I know since I never went to a Catholic School?  I submit that I have seen Catholic schooling in my family for over 2 decades and at one time I was on the school advisory council for Our Lady of Grace.

First I want to say the educators and teachers are great at Catholic schools in the area.  I have never heard of an issue with teachers pushing agendas or other inappropriate practices like we tend to see occasionally in public schools.  I do believe the staff and teachers at parochial schools do what is best for the development of their students both socially and scholarly.

That's where I have the problem.  Some of these places have placed the education over the spiritual.  They have become schools that happen to be Catholic rather than Catholic Schools.  I understand that they are private institutions that must have great STEM academics to get high quality students.  I know some of them have to even recruit athletes to highlight their athletic programs.

And that's great and all, but as a Catholic whose money I put in the collection every week is subsidizing these schools I would rather see statistics on the percentage of students who become priests rather than go onto a college scholarship in a sport.  Or number of young women who enter the convent from Catholic Schools as opposed to go to four-year universities.  Yes, its important to educate the students, but its also important to help their spiritual discernment.

I do try in these rants to come up with a solution.  While this is defiantly beyond my level, I think that their should be scholarships at both the elementary school levels and high school levels for altar servers.  They have taken an interest in the church and participating the the mass and should be rewarded for it.  Those individuals are our best chances to find deacons, priests and religious sisters in the future.

This one hits home because we are well into Lent, but by no means should a Catholic School be on spring break for Holy Week, especially Good Friday.  It seems like most of the Catholic schools in the area are taking off Good Friday and then the following week for spring break.  Good Friday is part of the most important triduum of our faith.  What are we teaching the students if we are prioritizing getting a day off to travel over the death of Jesus on the Cross.  At a minimum they should have a morning of prayer and reflection, focused on Stations of the Cross.

It's time to remember that the word "Catholic" comes before the word "School" in every school's name.  Maybe students should go to mass more as part of their school day.  Maybe they should be studying the Bible just as much as their chemistry book.  Maybe they should be spend as much time in prayer as practicing free throws.