3/15/25-Did You Miss Me?

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted here.  Did you miss me?  Probably not.  

I am doing well but I made a conscious decision to take some time away from the internet.  For the past couple of weeks I have made an effort to concentrate on being present in time and place I find myself.  The internet, especially the social networks, has become an echo chamber filled with hate and discontent.  I realized it wasn't something I wanted to waste my energy on, so I took a step away.

So what have I been up to?  I'm working, nearly full time hours.  My co-workers and managers have been very accommodating with my physical limitations and required time off to do my treatments.  Speaking of treatments, I am now doing radiation in conjunction with chemotherapy pills.  I go everyday after work to UCSD and lay down on the table for 10 minutes to get zapped.  They are very efficient at UCSD.  The hardest part is the traffic on the 805 on my way home from La Jolla.

I have realized a couple of things in this cancer battle.  Fighting cancer is all encompassing.  Every decision revolves around an upcoming treatment, scheduling of a procedure or fear of a side effect.  I can see why people who defeat cancer always refer to themselves as "Cancer Survivor."  The battle against cancer is something that takes over your life and defeating cancer is something to be proud of.  It's a badge to wear with honor.

The other thing is cancer has made me a happier person.  I am not glad to have cancer but it has made me realize what is really important in my life, namely the three "F's"- my faith and my family and my friends.  I have made an effort to keep them in the center of my life and use the energy I have on those things.  Wasting time and energy worrying about things I have no control over is really not worth my time.

Getting sick has made me realize for the first time that I am not going to be here forever, my time on Earth is limited, so why not make the most of it by concentrating on what is most important and the things I can effect.

I do plan to go back to posting at least weekly updates on my life and cancer journey as well as a few short posts a week under the "Shephard & Friend" label about my faith life.  Hopefully you will all continue to follow along.