6/13/25-Getting Better?

Since I got sick I have heard a lot of people say things like, "You are looking better" or "I hope they figure out how to cure you."

I usually reply with a "Thanks."  I appreciate the thought, but downplay their notion.

The reality for someone with a chronic or terminal illness is that you never get better.  There are some days that are better than others, but in reality those days are just days when things didn't get worse.  A victory for someone in my situation is staying the same.

My life will never be what it was.  I realize that my days of running for 13 miles or getting on the bike and exploring the area for 2 hours are in the past.  I wanted to be the best engineer and get promoted.  I thought that doing things like that was my identity.  At least I thought it was.

But the good thing about cancer is that it really gives you the opportunity to figure out what is really important in life.  I'm a (average) husband.  I'm a (okay) father.  I'm (learning to be a better) Catholic.  I am a (bad) friend.

Those are the things that are really important and that I want to define me.  Cancer has shown me that.  Now I just need to get better at those things.  Hopefully, I can get rid of the part in parentheses.  I'm trying to at least.

So physically, no I'm not getting better.  And I never will.  But hopefully I'm a better person.  Or at least I am trying to be a better person than I was a year ago.