In this war I am at the point where I have stopped the advance of the enemy. We would be at a stalemate. I have established a trench with the treatments I am using. The tumor has established its own front and is holding steady there. Neither of us are winning the fight, we are just holding are line.
My weapons in the war are chemotherapy, radiation, multiple hospital stays and procedures to deal with the side effects that cancer has done to my body. The question is could I be doing more?
I know there are many ideas for fighting cancer and other disease holistically through diet and non- traditional medications. I've watched videos and purchased books explaining them. Some of them think of cancer as a parasite and fight the cancer by treating it as such. They definitely have interesting ideas. If this is a truly a war is it time to fight cancer from all fronts should I be trying those other methods?
I think if I'm serious about really fighting the disease I should be trying to fight the cancer using any method I can. There are medications I could be taking that have shown some positive effects on the cancer by effecting the tumors blood supply. I have seen videos correlates diets that remove inflammation such as keto or carnivore with tumor size decreasing. Should I try them?
That is where quality of life comes in. To do change my diet takes some level of commitment. I need to really stick to it. But I love junk food. I love hamburgers and french fries. Pizza is among the greatest thing ever invented. In my mind, over the past year, I know that I could benefit from a stricter diet. But a part of my mind thinks has the feeling that I'm dying, so why not enjoy the time I have left by eating the things I like? That has led to me gaining back a lot of the weight I initially lost while I was in the hospital.
The idea of taking holistic medications takes a commitment to the belief that they would work. My faith in them vacillates. Sometimes I feel like I they are the way to go, especially if I can take them without disturbing the treatments I am currently using. Sometimes I think why bother?
I know that if I do continue as I am with chemotherapy eventually the cancer will push back and eventually win.
So that's where my mind is now. I face the dilemma of trying to fight back by opening up a new front against the cancer or accepting my fate and making the most of the time I have left.
It has been a difficult year. I never thought I'd have to face decisions like this, at lest not for a while. But all of life is a war against death. And its a war we will all lose eventually. The question is how long am I willing to fight?
.jfif)
.jfif)
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