9/26/24: Mom-Can't Smile Without You

 

This post is one that is a long time coming and one that I have been working on for quite some time.  It's hard to put in words on a short post all my Mom has done for me in my life.  Nor am I a good enough writer to convey what my Mom has done for me.

Of all the people in my life no one deserves more credit (or blame) for who I am today than my Mom.

She grew up in New Jersey and was still very young when she met a young Navy sailor in my Dad.  They were married and she followed him across the country to San Diego even though he would soon deploy to Vietnam.  Being alone in a new city must have been tough, but then she found out she was pregnant with me.  I'm sure that didn't make it easier.

But she endured, and eventually I was born.  Luckily it also coincided with Dad getting out of the Navy.  We were a family.  Over the 1970's things got more interesting.  Amber come along. We moved in to a house in Santee.  Grandparents moved out.  It must have been a lot for Mom to deal with.

But it wasn't all good.  My parents separated, and Mom had to take care of 2 young kids on her own.  I'm sure she made sacrifices in her own life for me and my sister.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for her nor was it the life she expected, but I never knew anything was wrong.  We were a normal family doing normal things.  Church, soccer practice, Disneyland trips-there was never a time when I didn't feel like my childhood was lacking in any way.

In high school, without my knowledge, she signed me up for cross country.  I don't know how she knew,  but running would become a life long activity for me because she did that.

As I look back on my childhood I can't believe all that my Mom gave up for me over the years, especially at her expense.

I probably wasn't the easiest kid to raise.  I'm sure I made bad decisions like most teenagers, but no matter what Mom was my biggest supporter.  She was my cheerleader if that's what I needed but allowed me to grow and make mistakes so I would learn from them.

As I got older I think we have become closer.  Mom has become someone I can confide in and talk to about things that are bothering me.  Even when I was in the Navy deployed overseas we would talk every week.

I could go on for pages for all she has done for me and our family as a whole.

As she has gotten older, Mom has developed physical issues that she has to deal with.  She lost the love of her life, Dad, almost a quarter of a century ago.  That must be lonely.  But she continues to be the anchor of our family.  She keeps track of countless relatives and friends.  She makes sure we get together as a family for meals.

I could go on for pages for all she has done for me and our family as a whole.  But I will try to wind this down with a couple of last thoughts.  As I have gotten sick, my life has been turned upside down.  And the fact that we are both dealing with physical issues has made us become closer she is someone who understands what some of what I am going through.  She is someone who understands how important faith in God is at this point in life.  Our discussions on that have been invaluable and comforting.

I close on this...I was in the talent show as a kid way back in like 3rd grade.  I don't know how we came to this idea, but I would lip-sync and preform as Barry Manilow.  The song we chose is "Can't Smile Without You."  And that's true.  I don't think that I would be able to smile without all the things my Mom has done for me over the 52 years of my life, and I can't help but smile when I look back at the time we have had together.

Mom-Thank you for all that you have done and all that you continue to do for me.  I could never have asked for a better Mom.