S&F-Give Up 99 for 1

Jesus addressed this parable to the Pharisees and scribes:

"What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them

would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert

and go after the lost one until he finds it?"

-Luke 15

I think I might have written about this bible passage in the past, but I heard I take that I don't think I ever thought of before.

This is a very familiar passage to me, and for as long as I have heard it I have struggled with it.  Why would anyone leave 99 sheep, risking losing them, just to go after one?  That's bad risk analysis.  The shepherd should monitor the 99 and protect them from getting lost and the other hazards they may run into from other shepherds trying to lead them astray or wolves trying to outright take them for their own.  It really makes no sense.

I always though I was part of the 99.  But this week I put myself in the role of the lost sheep.  I would be afraid out there on my own, looking for my master.  Hoping beyond all hope that he won't give up on me.  Looking for his love and protection.

I think I am the one lost sheep.  Jesus is out there with the fence open calling me.  I am trying to find my way home.  I hope I am heading the right way.  It is through a journey of hope, faith, repentance and most especially the Eucharist that I am looking for my master.  Someday I hope he will welcome me home, opening the gate and we can be together in Heaven.

6/28/25-A Diatribe

I haven't posted here in a little while.  The reason for my silence is not that I didn't have things to say, but that I am not sure how to say them.

I think I have eluded to this in the past, but over the past month I  find myself very frustrated in the state of the world and how people relate to one another.  And it really bothers me.

I am a pretty opinionated person and I like to debate things.  I am always up for a discussion of people's opinions or current events.  My love of debate is one of the things Cindy hates about me more than anything else (and I'm sure there are a lot of things she hates about me).

The reason I like to debate is not to change peoples opinions or to have them change mine, but I really like to understand other points of view and why people feel the way they do.

The problem today is those types of debates are not allowed.  No one wants to hear how other people feel unless they feel the same as them.  It's just an echo chamber of confirmation bias.

Take politics, it doesn't matter what side of the aisle you are on, people gravitate to news sources that will tell the story with a lean to their chosen position.  No one seems to want to hear from the opposing viewpoint.

The news itself has become a overblown editorial page.  Back in the day (here I am sounding like an old guy), reporters would report a story focusing on the facts and allow the viewer (or reader) to formulate their own opinion.  But today the newsperson seems to feel their opinion is part of the news and always interjects it into their story.

If you made it this far into this post I'm proud of you for putting up with my little diatribe, and hopefully I won't lose you.  Because I consider you a friend no matter what your leanings are politically or socially.  And I respect your feelings.

But here I go.  I am a middle-aged white male.  I feel it is important to protect life from conception to natural death.  I support the existence of a Jewish state in the Middle East and its actions to protect itself from enemies that have the stated goal to try to exterminate Jews from the it face of the Earth.  I love the United States and think it is important to protect itself by enforcing just laws.

I could go on but I'm sure I have already upset many of you.  Believe me when I say that was not my goal in this post.  What I actually would love is for this post to encourage healthy discussion.  As I said I really want to understand why people believe the things they do.  And the only way to do that is to talk.  We have more ways than ever to have healthy conversations with message apps or Facebook comments.

I miss the days when we could just agree to disagree.  Friendship was based on finding commonalities in activity or interest.  And if friends had issues that could not be agreed on it was ok.  It was ok to make light of those differences of opinion and even joke about them.  The important thing was the mutual respect people had and enjoying their time together.

I think this has gone on long enough.  I do consider you all friends and hope the feeling is mutual.  I just needed to get this off my chest to get back to more lighthearted and (hopefully) positive posts in the future. 

S&F-The Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ

Today we celebrate the presence of the body and blood in the Eucharist at every mass.  

I talk a lot about the reunification of the Christian churches under the Church that Jesus started.  I don't pretend to be an expert on the protestant schism, but I know that one of the things that separates us is the belief that the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Jesus and not just a symbol.  More concerning, there was a survey several years ago that Catholics in levels up to 70% don't believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.  Catholics thinking the Eucharist is a just symbol is misunderstanding one of the basic tenets of the Catholic faith.

Why do we believe in transubstantiation and the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist?  I have heard of many proofs of this but the one I keep coming back to is part of the "Bread of Life" discourse in John 6.  Jesus said:

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you."

Jesus's followers questioned this.  They asked “How can this man give us [his] flesh to eat?”  Some left him, not being able to accept this teaching.

Seeing his followers leaving, if the Eucharist was just supposed to be a symbol and not the actual Body and Blood of Christ Jesus would have said so here.  But instead he doubled down, repeating that we need to truly consume the Body and Blood of Christ to get eternal life.

Jesus asked the followers who remained:

   “Do you also want to leave?”

If I was asked that I would hopefully reply as Peter did.  "“Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

I love the fact that I get to become one with Jesus every week at the mass in the Eucharist, the true Body and Blood of Christ. 

S&F-Prayer of the Week: The Sign of the Cross

This past Sunday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity.  So it only seems fitting to concentrate of the prayer proclaiming the Trinity:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The simplest of all prayers is one of the most important.  We say it all the time, both as part of other prayers and on its own.  It is the first prayer most children learn.

It draws attention to the first mystery of the church, a single God in three forms.  This is difficult for us to accept as humans.  And that's the beauty of it.  Having faith while not understanding is what shows God is worth our worship.  Is a God that could be explained really worth our worship?

I sometimes think when I pray who should I be praying to?  God-the Father, God-the Son, or God-The Holy Spirit?  But this short little prayer tells me it doesn't matter which part of the Trinity I address my prayers to.  Whether as the Father, Son or the Holy Spirit-God is listening.

S&F-I'm Listening

Over the past year there have been many times where I wonder why I got sick.  I believe that God doesn't do things without reason, so why am I fighting cancer?  Last afternoon was one of those times when I found myself thinking, "Why me?"

One of the things I have found over the past couple of years as I have become closer to God is that sometimes he tells me what I need to hear.  This week's second reading is one of those times where I feel like God was talking to me.

 "...We even boast of our afflictions,

knowing that affliction produces endurance,

and endurance, proven character,

and proven character, hope,

and hope does not disappoint,

because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."

-Romans 5

Paul reminds me we can be proud of our afflictions because they can make us stronger.  Through strength, we improve character and be given hope-and this is all because of the love of God given to us through the Holy Spirit.

In my case, there were many time over the course of my life where I think I was being called to God and my response was always something like, "It's not the right time," or "Maybe next year."  I think God was sick of waiting for me and that's why he allowed me to get cancer.

When I was a kid I saw the altar servers every week.  Part of me felt the calling to become one of them, but I was a shy public school kid and never followed through.

When I was a teenager, God called me to the mystery of the Eucharist when preparing for Confirmation.  That could have been a signal that God had a mission for me in his Church.  But I wasn't ready to listen.

In the Navy God put me in a situation that I was responsible for the weekly Catholic services and the distribution of the Eucharist when we were at sea.  Obviously God was trying to get my attention for some increase in my vocation, but I wasn't ready to hear him.

I remember before I left the Navy I ran into a Religious Program Specialist.  Was God showing me I could still represent my Country and spread his word?  Maybe, but at that moment I really just wanted to move on with my life and do what I thought was best for my family.

God took my Dad before his time.  I was always proud of his conversion to the Catholic Church.  One of the first tings I committed to was to take his spot as a Eucharistic Minister as soon as I was able.  Was God calling be back again for something bigger?

Over the past 20 years I have continued to hear his call to become more involved in the Church.  I have heard him call me to join organizations in our parish.  Maybe next year.  I have even been been drawn to finding out if I could become a Deacon and be able to proudly preach with the Priest.  But I was not confident enough in myself to ever follow through and find out more about it.  Still not listening.

My life had become a series of calls from God.  Calls that I felt I wasn't ready for or wasn't worthy of.

Then I got cancer.  I feel, through my affliction, stronger.  Cancer has shown me my true character as a member of God's family.  I hope He calls me to whatever vocation or path he has for me.  Because, finally, I am ready to listen.

6/13/25-Getting Better?

Since I got sick I have heard a lot of people say things like, "You are looking better" or "I hope they figure out how to cure you."

I usually reply with a "Thanks."  I appreciate the thought, but downplay their notion.

The reality for someone with a chronic or terminal illness is that you never get better.  There are some days that are better than others, but in reality those days are just days when things didn't get worse.  A victory for someone in my situation is staying the same.

My life will never be what it was.  I realize that my days of running for 13 miles or getting on the bike and exploring the area for 2 hours are in the past.  I wanted to be the best engineer and get promoted.  I thought that doing things like that was my identity.  At least I thought it was.

But the good thing about cancer is that it really gives you the opportunity to figure out what is really important in life.  I'm a (average) husband.  I'm a (okay) father.  I'm (learning to be a better) Catholic.  I am a (bad) friend.

Those are the things that are really important and that I want to define me.  Cancer has shown me that.  Now I just need to get better at those things.  Hopefully, I can get rid of the part in parentheses.  I'm trying to at least.

So physically, no I'm not getting better.  And I never will.  But hopefully I'm a better person.  Or at least I am trying to be a better person than I was a year ago. 

 

S&F-Prayer of the Week: The Hail Mary

 The Hail Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you;
blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

This week I am focusing on one of the most beautiful of our prayers, The Hail Mary.  The words were taken from the Gospel of Luke, combining the words of the Angel Gabriel with the tribute that Elizabeth said to Mary during the Visitation.

This prayer, both honors and venerates Mary, the Mother of God.

I wish we used this prayer more.  The part that really stands out to me when I say it daily as part of the Rosary is the last two lines.

I can think of no other time in life that is full of unknown than the last hours of our life before death.  No one knows what is next.  It must have a sense of fear.  And in this time I think we are vulnerable to the influence of Satan.  So who better to ask to bring us comfort and guidance to the next step in everlasting life than our Spiritual Mother, Mary.  

I will continue to pray to Mary.  I will hope she is there at the final moment of my earthly life.  I hope she is with you as well.

S&F-Happy Birthday to the Church

Today is Pentecost Sunday.  This is the day we celebrate the Holy Spirit coming down on the Disciples, giving them the power to start the Church.

In the 2000 years since then the Church has grown from a few hundred people to 1.4 billion.

In the early days of the Church in the Acts of the Apostles this is addressed.  One of the Jewish Leaders, a wise and respected member of the Sanhedrin, Gameliel, cautioned the Jewish leaders how they should treat the followers of Jesus.  He said that if Jesus's teachings were of a human origin, his followers will go away and it will destroy itself.  However, if this movement was from God, it cannot be stopped and the Jewish leaders might find themselves fighting against God.

Gameliel was truly wise.  The Catholic Church has grown.  Its membership has exploded all over the world.  If it was not God's Church that wouldn't have happened.  The Catholic Church is the true Church, started today with the Baptism in the Holy Spirit of 11 men, a Baptism we 1.4 million Catholics share.   

 

6/7/25-How We Deal with Suicide

Cindy told me Thursday is the 1 year anniversary of our first appointment with my oncologist.  That means it has been one year since our lives have been turned upside-down.  I have been reflecting on that year and there will be a post soon talking about my feelings, but this post is about something else that hit me this week, how our culture deals with death, specifically people who take their own lives.

I don't intend for this post to be another old man rant about today's culture, nor do I want it to be a post about my religious beliefs, but I am sure there will be some bits here where those things will come up.

Early this week, I was doing my daily time on YouTube, and I saw a CBS News story on a woman who has ALS.  The video chronicled her last 24 hours before she was prescribed a cocktail that would put her to sleep and give her a "peaceful and dignified" death.  It used the term MAID.  I had never heard that term before, but it stands for "Medical Aid In Dying" and is legal in about 10 states, with more coming soon according to the news story.

Later this week, I was reading Google News and saw a story about a person I knew of from TV that had died.  He was my age so I was curious what had happened to him.  The article said he had "Lost his battle with depression."  That confused me and I asked my family what that meant. I pretty much knew the answer, but I like to get a take from my family on questions of morality since they come from other backgrounds, ages and philosophies.  I just didn't see how a death certificate could list "depression" as a cause of death.  They all confirmed that he probably took his own life, but saying it that he lost a battle with depression is the accepted way of saying that so the article won't be flagged and can remain monetized.

Death is a part of life.  Its time we as a culture accept that.  Coming up with flowery terms to describe it doesn't change that everyone will face it someday.  Getting a doctor to give you a poison drink is euthanasia.  Losing a battle with depression is suicide.  Watching a YouTube video saying someone had chosen to "Self-delete" doesn't change what happened.

If we, as a culture, can't deal with death, specifically self-inflicted death, how are we ever going to help those who need it?  There seems to be a large number of people, based on polls, that are suicidal or looking for ways to die.  We need to let these people know that sometimes things might be bad, but there are people out there to help if they need it.  And hiding suicide under a different name doesn't do that.

I look at death not as a period, but a comma.  It is not the end of my life, but, because of my faith, the beginning of a new chapter.  But that doesn't mean I want this part of by journey to end.  I do remember a moment when my doctor talked about the option of physician assisted suicide.  California is one of the states where it is legal.  At that point we were thinking I had months to live.  I shut that conversation down quickly.  I am not one who is willing to think about ending my life before it is truly time.  That is God's will, not mine.

I am not judging those people who choose to end their own life.  Life is hard.  And some people think they need a way out.  I feel genuinely bad for them.  I just wish we could deal better with it as a culture.  If we call it what it is, suicide, rather than belittling it with other politically correct terms, maybe it will be harder for them to follow through.  We need to encourage them to get the help they need to deal with their demons.  Not hide behind language.

6/5/25-The Animaniacs

I just was reviewing some of my recent posts and realized that a lot of them have been downers.  I'm depressing myself reading them.  Hopefully this will be a more positive post.

Back in my early Navy days when I was in Nuclear Power School in Orlando the days were pretty long.  We had to be up early for breakfast and had morning military responsibilities.  The longest day part of the day was class.  We were basically in the classroom from 8am to 3pm.  The evenings were consumed by studying time back in the classroom (much of the stuff we learned was classified and couldn't be taken out of the class).  Most people had required study hours that they had to check in with the watch to get signed off.  Things like 15/5, meaning 15 extra hours a week spread out over at least 5 days was not unusual.  All that lead to a lot of time in the classroom.

It was definitely important to find somethings to do outside to distract yourself from the constant studying.  For me that was every weekday getting out of class and rushing straight back to my room to watch the WB Television station.  I watched the adventures of Babs and Buster Bunny in the Tiny Toons Adventures, but the real highlight was Animaniacs at 4:30.

The Animaniacs was a cartoon based on the fact that in the 1930's, looking for new new characters, the WB animators came up with the Warner Brothers and their Warner Sister-Yakko, Wakko and Dot.  They were so crazy they were locked into the studio Water Tower, never to be heard from again, until they escaped.  They basically ran amuck causing mischief all over the studio and greater Los Angeles.

They sung songs about history (Ballad of Magellan) and geography (50 States and their Capitals).  They met historical figures like Albert Einstein or made fun of Saddam Hussein.  They drove their psychiatrist to pull out his own hair.

Some of their gags don't meet the modern standard for political correctness, and that showed when they tried to reboot that show in the 2010's.  It just lacked the edginess of the original.

It was a welcome distraction from the stress of learning nuclear theory, thermodynamics and chemistry.  Especially knowing that after my hour of peace I'd get dinner and back to the classroom.

Most importantly when Cindy found out she had married a 22 year old who scheduled his day around watching a cartoon she didn't realize her mistake and leave me.

S&F-Prayer of the Week: The Our Father

 

I'm going to start spending my Wednesday posts focusing on a particular prayer and what it means to me.  There is no better prayer to start with than the prayer that when asked in Luke 11 to teach them to pray Jesus told them.

The Our Father

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread;

and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass

against us;

and lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

Amen

There is so much in this prayer.  In its simplicity it contains all we need to do to be close to God.  It seems like every time I reflect on it I see something I didn't before.

Today I am focusing on the line asking for God's forgiveness, while we will try to forgive those who have wronged us.  

Even the best of us on Earth are sinners.   St. Mother Theresa and Pope St. John Paul II realized they needed to ask for God's forgiveness often.  Dare I say none of us are as Holy as them.  We all have wronged God and need his grace.

But we also need to realize that part of getting God's grace is to give others grace.  Sometimes we need to turn the other cheek to whose who wrong us.  We have been asked by Jesus to love our neighbor as yourself.  And you can't have love without forgiveness.

I know I struggle daily living these statements.  But by accepting my faults and receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation I will try to receive his grace for my shortcomings and by giving my life to Jesus's will he will help me pass that grace onto others.

6/3/25-Entertain vs Preach

For someone with a blog that is littered with posts proclaiming his faith in God this post might seem a little hypocritical.  But here I go anyway.

In 2008 I saw Ironman.  My kids and I spent the next 10 years looking for the next chapter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe story.  We were even able to get Cindy invested in 2012 when she saw the Avengers.  We would go as a family to the theater see each movie.  We weren't the only ones who did this.  Based on the billions the movies made millions of people wanted to see what was going to happen next.  Not all the movies were great, but it seemed like the MCU could do no wrong.

Something happened shortly after the climax on Avengers: Endgame in 2019.  The MCU lost its way.  While the movies were making billions then, Disney celebrates a $300 million box office now.  They have projects coming out soon in Ironheart (Disney+) and The Fantastic Four in the movies.  And largely no one cares.  What happened?

I know the pandemic came at an unfortunate time but its been years since then and the MCU can't get back the momentum it once had.  I submit that the MCU forgot what made it successful-good, entertaining stories.  They, like a lot of the entertainment industry, have turned to virtue signaling and preaching.

It's not just Marvel.  Star Wars, which once was an unstoppable force (pun intended) is nothing compared to what it once was and is hit and miss at best.  I used to look forward to watching Doctor Who every Saturday night and it got ratings in the 10 million range.  Now it gets 10% of that and is facing cancelation.  Star Trek tried to introduce in the modern values only to be lambasted by forcing Discovery on the fans.

Sports faces the same issues.  ESPN is a shell of what it once was.  The NBA has lost a lot of the growth that Magic Johnson and Michal Jordan led it to.  The WNBA has never made money.  Even though it finally has a star it can build around in Catlin Clark still has its stars fighting her choosing to focus on her race instead of embracing her and allowing her popularity to make them all money.

People turn to entertainment industries like TV, movies and sports to be distracted from the stresses of the world.  A movie was a couple hours where you could leave the negativity behind you at the door and just concentrate on the having a good time.  Watching sports was a time to celebrate the athletic ability of exceptional people doing things we normal people could never do.  

Why do these entertainment giants not to listen to their fans and concentrate on entertaining?  In their hubris, they feel like they are superior to us and they should push their political or social opinions on us.  What they do not realize is that just because you are Disney or LeBron James you are not superior.  You might have a entertainment empire or great basketball skills, but that does not make your opinions special.  Until they get that message and go back to listening to their fandoms and go back to being entertainers we will continue to look elsewhere with our views and our money.  

S&F-Visitation and Ascension

This weekend is a dichotomy in the Catholic Church.  We get to celebrate two feast days.  Today is the feast of the Visitation and tomorrow we get to celebrate the Ascension.

In the Visitation we see the first time Jesus was recognized even though he was still in Mary's womb.  On Mary's arrival to see her cousin Elizabeth, she is celebrated as the Mother of the Lord.  Elizabeth's own unborn child "Leaps for joy" in the presence of the forthcoming savior.  It is the first time Jesus was recognized on Earth.

Although the actual feast is on Thursday, in order to allow everyone to celebrate, we observe the Ascension of Jesus into Heaven on Sunday.  In the presence of his followers Jesus was taken to be with the Father.  This was the last time he was recognized on Earth.

I think this weekend is like the bookends of Jesus's time as a man.  In his 33 years on Earth as a man he was able to change the world.  His time here continues to effect us 2000 years later.  He did have the advantage of being both divine and man, but who says we can't have an effect to the world as we know it today.

To quote Jesus himself:

"Go and teach all nations, says the Lord;

I am with you always, until the end of the world." -Mt 28

None of us is going to have the influence of Jesus, but we are called to proclaim the Gospel.  I think if we do with confidence Jesus will take care of the rest.