11/28/24-Thankful for Cancer?

I don't think anyone is going to ever utter the phrase "I'm thankful for getting cancer."  Cancer sucks.

But I am grateful for some of the things that cancer has done for me over the past 6 months.

Cancer has made me have a better perspective on life.  I realize what is really important.  I live day to day.  I realize that not every day is going to be perfect, but I celebrate the positives, rather than dwell on the negatives.

Cancer has made me realize what's really important in my life.  I appreciate my family more.  The way that family pulls together over a tough situation can't be understated.

Cancer has reminded me of the role God has in my life.  I have become aware of the importance in my faith in God's plan for me.

Cancer has connected me with people who I lost contact with over time.  I used to think I was okay without friends, but now I realize how important those relationships were to me and to get the most out of them from today on.

Being sick is not something anyone can be thankful for.  But I can be thankful for what cancer has done for my overall mindset.  I may not be happy all the time, but I am more appreciative all the time. 

Carpe Diem.  Make most of the present.

The Feast of the Miraculous Medal

November 27th is the day we celebrate the day that Mary appeared to St. Catherine Laboure.  At a small chapel on this day in 1830, Our Lady revealed herself standing on the Earth, crushing a serpent under her feet.  She asked that a medal be struck with this image to receive graces of God through her.

The medal was eventually struck, and wearers of the medal have seen numerous conversions, healings and other intercessions. 

One of the biggest followers of Mary, St. Maximilian Kolbe, described the medal as the silver bullet to bring down the enemy of souls, Satan.

I always wear my Miraculous Medal, and I always feel as if Mary is there with me. She never lets me go through any daily toils alone.  Remember, Jesus first love was his Mother. After giving her to us as Our Mother on the cross when he said, "Woman, behold your son."  Followed by telling John, "Behold, your Mother."  We should love her just as Jesus did.

And what better way to show our love and honor for the Ever Virgin Mother of God than wearing her image around our neck-close to our heart.

"Oh Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!"

Everyone is better than you

 

“Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than more important than yourselves, each looking out for his own interests, but also for those of others."

-Philippians 2

A good resolution would be to practice that. Paul seems pretty smart. He's probably one of the most read authors in history after all.

Far from me to try to translate Paul or try to put his work in context, but I think the best way to look at it always trying to consider the other person to be better than yourself so that the interest of the other first.

Today's society is so self-centric. With the internet and social networking it's all about the ME. Posting about your meals and your drive to work and the like. The common thing is all the posts are about the ME.

Maybe if we realized that in the grand scheme of things none of us is really that important. Maybe if we could post more about the good in others we would be more aware of the needs of not only ourselves but also others.

I don't think the Philippians had Facebook, but I think take Paul's words to them and apply them to our lives today, both on the internet and out there in the real world.

11/26/24-Short People

Randy Newman is a songwriter who became known first for  "I Love LA" in 1983.  I think he is now best recognized for the theme from Toy Story, "You Got a Friend in Me," or the song from the sequel "When She Loved Me."  He does have an excellent, extensive catalog of songs from the 1960's both as a songwriter and performer.

I first heard of Randy Newman when I heard his song from 1977, "Short People."  It is (I assume) a satirical ode to the reason that short people don't belong and there is no place for them.  While I like the humor in the the song, some of what he writes do hit close to home.  I hold no negative feeling to Newman, but I'm going to quote parts of his song for this post.

"...Short people got no reason to live..." 

If you haven't seen me in a while, I'm still short.  I like to tell people I'm 5 foot 3 inches tall.  I think my driver's license says I'm 5'4".  But here's a secret, I'm probably closer to 5-1 or 5-2 on a good day.  For you Europeans out there that's 157cm.

No matter what I choose to say, all of those numbers are well below the average height of a man, 5'9" in the United States. 

I think I have always portrayed my self on the outside as having the attitude that my height was not something that bothered me, but since I'm lying to the DMV to gain an extra inch or two, I guess at least unconsciously, it must on bother me.

"...Don't want no short people 'round here..."

It's hard to overcome a first impression.  And I think its pretty obvious at first glance when someone is short.  And I think that does lead to some preconceived ideas of what a short person can do.

I know that it has affected my ability to do things athletically.  My time playing basketball and soccer both ended in junior high.  I realize that basketball players in my height range are few and far between (Spud Webb is the shortest one I can think of at 5'6"), but I think I was a good soccer player when I started high school.  The game was played mostly in the air at that point with headers, and I was one of the first cuts at the beginning of tryouts as a high school freshman I honestly believe because the coach didn't look past my height.  Luckily I found sports in high school that my height wasn't an issue in track and cross country.

"...Short people got nobody to love..."

There have been studies that short people do get less recognition in the workplace.  People look at being short as something they need to make accommodations for.  In some ways they are right.  I am always looking for a stool or ladder at work.  

Is being short a disability?  Being short is something people are and have no control over.  It is something that we shorties definitely have to overcome.  Kind of sounds like a disability to me.

I am not equating being short to any other mental or physical disability.  I'm not asking for it to be recognized by the ADA or anything.  I just wish it wasn't the expectation short people can be made fun of or in some situations ignored.  You can't call someone fat in public, but it seems to be ok to make fun of someone who can't reach the top shelf.

I hate internet dating sites (that's a different rant), but there have been studies that once a woman finds out a man is a short person he gets swiped left (rejected).  It's ok for a woman to put in their dating profile they wont date someone under 5'10" or whatever.  If she were make the same statement about race or religion that would be called discrimination.  But its ok to make that statement about a short person without a second thought.

"...Short people got no reason to live..."

This has gotten a little long, and turned into a little bit of a rant.  I don't want people to think that I hate my life because I'm short.  I found a great wife who was able to look beyond my height (maybe because she's shorter than me) and a great family (with kids who can reach the top shelf).  I was fortunate enough to find a career where my height has not been a detriment and was able to spend significant time on a cramped submarine only seldomly bumping my head.  Now any time I spend looking for a ladder to reach the ceiling is time well spent since Kaiser pays me by the hour.

I just wish that people wouldn't look as at a tall person as someone to idolize and look at a short person so negatively.  Is is impressive that LaBron James is such a great basketball player?  He's 6'9" and 250 pounds.  What else was he going to do?  I'm sure he works hard, at basketball.  He is an expert, at basketball. But to idolize him and follow his beliefs just because he is big is ridiculous.

People should be looked at and respected due to the people they are.  Regardless of their sex, religion, sexual preference, disability, wight or height they should be treated and compensated based on what they are capable of.

On the other hand we need to realize that all people are not created the same and some people are better suited to some tasks.  While I do think paying LaBron what he makes is a lot, he does have a special talent and brings in hundreds of millions of dollars to the NBA every year, and deserves to be paid for that league revenue.  We should not hold it against anyone who is getting paid commensurably for their talents (which in his case is being tall and flopping even with lightest contact so he can while to the referee).  Oops, this kinda went off the rails and turned into a LaBron negativity post.

I close on this.  Everyone needs to be able to laugh at themselves. I've laughed at the "Short People" song for 40 years.  The world was much less stressful when someone could make a little joke about someone's haircut or clothes or weight or height without being concerned about the how everyone will react or the mental health implications of everyone in the area.  I'm not saying we should take the reigns off and allow all talk about all subjects.  But as the world has gotten smaller from the internet and cultures are more mixed it is hard to know what words may offend people, sometimes people are afraid to say anything at all.  I propose if a joke or statement is made at our expense and we are offended you have the right to say so either there or in private.  Give the person a chance to apologize or have an open dialogue about why it was wrong to say what they did.

If you made it this far and are still reading, I admire your fortitude for putting up with my rant.  Now go watch Toy Story to hear some other Randy Newman songs, that's what I'm about to do.

     

The Monarch of Heaven and Earth

Today is Christ the King Sunday, the final Sunday of the liturgical year.  Next Sunday we start advent and prepare for the birth of Jesus.

In the first reading today David talks about the coming of the Son of Man, coming in glory and kingship.  Pilate than asks Jesus in the Gospel if Jesus is a King?  

Jesus replies: "My Kingdom does not belong to this world. If my Kingdom did belong to this world, ay attendants would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews.  But as it is my kingdom is not here."

I have grown up in the United States where I am conditioned to think that the best form of government is a democracy (although the US does not really have a democracy), and all other forms of government are inferior.  No dictatorships.  No aristocracies.  No monarchies.

But it seems to me that the problem isn't the type of government, but it is the people who run that government.  We could have a kind dictator, who cared about his people just as easy as we could have a bad leader in a democracy.  The only advantage is we can vote out a bad leader in our system.

The short of it is monarchies can be good.  I am a member of God's Kingdom.  It's bigger than everything on this Earth.  Jesus is my King.  And he is a good King.  Good enough to suffer on the cross and give his life for his people. 

11/23/24-7 Stages of Grief

Seven is a number that comes up in many situations.  7 deadly sins, lucky number 7, 7-11 Slurpee's come to mind.  And we can't forget about the movie starring Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt (no spoilers here-but if you haven't seen it, you should).

I was doing a little reading on mental health.  One of the things that came up is the 7 stages of grief.  Most articles talked about the stages dealing with a death of some one close to you, but there are other forms grief, like dealing with an long term health battle.  There tends to be some variance in the actual terms, but for a quick summary:

1. Shock-I remember being surprised by my initial diagnosis.
2. Denial-I thought there must be a mistake.
3. Anger-I was frustrated by not only being sick, but all my future plans that I would never be able to do.
4. Bargaining-I thought if I had gone to the doctor sooner or paid better attention I could have fought the cancer.
5. Guilt-I felt guilty about the people around me and what they were going through due to my illness.
6. Depression-I felt sad about my situation and what I was not able to do.
7. Acceptance and Hope-I realize that what happens will happen.  It's better to make the best of the situation rather than waste the time.

The progression of grief is not a step by step flow chart.  I have found that over the last 6 months some days I find myself in bargaining, other days I'm depressed.  However as time has passed I find that I spend more time near the bottom than near the top of the list.

The overall feeling of peace is found with acceptance and hope.  It'd difficult to move through these levels of grief but being aware of them, and the ultimate goal of acceptance does help.  I can only speak for the situation I am going through, but I think that also applies to life changing circumstance that leads to heartache.

We know the steps, but how do we best progress through the stages to achieve that peace?  Well that's a question for another time and another day.  But remember if you are going through it you are not alone.  Friends and family and your faith will help you through.  And I'm praying for you to receive the relief you desire. 

St. Francis and the Sultan

I have been trying to learn more about the history the Catholic faith and how to apply the lessons of the forbearers of the church to our life today.  I read a story about St. Francis today and his dealings with a Sultan during the crusades in the 1200's.

The story has different versions as anything passed over 800 years tend to do, but I will try to get the gist of it here.  Basically, St. Francis went to meet the Muslim leader of Sultan Al-Malik al-Kamil.  In short, the Sultan was impressed by the faith of Francis and rather than killing him allowed him to preach.  Francis didn't waste time trying to convert the devout Muslim leader, but concentrated on befriending him.  To this day the results of this pilgrimage can be seen in Assisi, as relics from the Holy Land that the Sultan allowed Francis to visit are there.   

The lesson I got from this is that rather than trying to force faith on strangers we should befriend and listen to them.  Friendship is the bridge to introduce people to the faith.  Maybe rather than being missionaries we should first be friends.  It worked for St. Francis.

11/19/24-Bucket List Item-See the Blue Man Group (Again)

I realized only in the last 10 years or so how much I love going to see production level shows.  It is one of my highlights of our trips to Las Vegas where we have seen many shows of many different types over the years.  It is also one of my favorite parts of cruising.  The fact I can go see a different show every night is something I plan my evenings around.

My history with the theatre started when I was young.  my sister and I saw a number of Broadway plays with my Grandma when we were young at the theatre downtown.  I remember seeing Annie! and Guys and Dolls.  I don't remember much about the shows specifically, but I do remember enjoying the music and singing it for days afterwards.

After Cindy and I got together we saw Phantom of the Opera.  I loved it, but don't tell Cindy that because I like to make fun of some of the songs.  We also saw Aladdin together much later.  I liked that a lot as well.

But the one show I remember most when we were on a big family trip to Orlando was Amber and I taking our kids to see the Blue Man Group.  I had my reservations, mostly because I didn't know anything about the show.  We didn't sit in the "Splash Zone" or anything but the music was great and  the visuals were great.  I think the thing I remember the most about the show is it was fun.  I think now that I know more what to expect I'd enjoy it more.

I think that's one of the reasons I hope I am able to get to Las Vegas at some point again.  I know they are at the Luxor.  And now that the Beatles Circ de Soleil show is gone (I need to find another way to get my Beatles fix), I think that The Blue Man Group is my #1 want to see in Vegas.  After The Golden Knights of course.

So that's why seeing guys in blue make up are on my bucket list.

Standing Out

"Now a man there named Zacchaeus, who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man, was seeking to see who Jesus was, but he could not see him because of the crowd, for he was short in stature.  So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus who was about to pass that way."         -Luke 19

As I was reading the gospel today.  I felt a connection to Zacchaeus, probably because I, short in stature, would have had to climb a tree in order to see Jesus over the crowd.

But the thought occurred to me, would I have climbed that tree?  Would I be willing to make a spectacle of myself and stand out from the crowd?  Honestly, for most of my life, probably not.  I have always been afraid to put myself out there, and felt more comfortable mixing in with the group.

Not Zacchaeus,  he not only climbed that tree just to see Jesus, but he did it in a place where he was probably not popular.  He was a chief tax collector of Jericho.  He might have swindled some of the people of the town out of their money.  He definitely took their taxes in the name of Rome.  He was living a rich life on the backs of their labor.  I am quite sure the people of the town did not look favorably on him.  But still he went up that tree so everyone can witness his desire to just see Jesus.

Maybe it's time I take Zacchaeus's example.  I'm not going to climb a tree, but I can't be afraid to stand out.  I can't be afraid to put my thoughts and feelings out there for people to see.

I really am starting to believe that this silly little blog might be my calling.  I am a cradle Catholic, and felt that just being part of his flock from birth was good enough.  But its not enough.  I am trying to learn about what it means to be part of God's chosen church.  I am trying to grow in my faith.

I'm not a great writer, but I do believe there are others out there who can benefit from what I am saying here.  Maybe they are on their own spiritual journey, maybe they just want to see what a small (in stature) person wants to say about his worship for The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit-His love for the Virgin Mary-His honor for all the Saints.

I will remember all who read this in my prayers.

Where to Pray?

I am still struggling with prayer over all still.  I am falling into a good prayer schedule, but I still know I can do better.

Moses climbed Mount Sinai to talk to God.  You don't have to climb a mountain to pray.  Prayer can be done anywhere and at any time. But what I am finding out is prayer is easier at certain places and times than others.  

So here is where I currently pray:

• In bed before I get out of bed I always try to do a morning prayer offering my day for Jesus and asking Mary to give me strength to get thru the day.  I also listen to the bible being read and a reflection on it.
• I try to pray one rosary in the morning using the daily mystery.  That might be driving, which is not a great place to pray because concentrating on the road is a built in distraction.
• In the afternoon I try to take some time to listen to a couple of daily reflections from other people on the Gospel, Saints, and the world in general.  Most of these are in front of the TV so I really don't count that as prayer time.
• I finish the night praying in bed.  I do another rosary, and try to reflect on the day, and thank God for all he did for me.

So bed is good, driving not as good, when it comes to where to pray there are other options.

But there are other places that I' like to use.  At church prayer difficult.  Sitting in the pews people are talking around you catching up on the week or whatever and its hard to concentrate on prayer.  If you find a quiet place its church is great.  If I want to pray in church I find kneeling under a statue works.  The best place is the Adoration Chapel.  Whether the Eucharist is exposed or in repose its accepted everyone is quiet in there concentrating on their prayer and their physical closeness to the Body of Christ.

I also find praying outside is good.  Whenever Mary has appeared either Lourdes or Fatima or the like, over the years it seems to be outside.  So maybe Mary like to be outside.  So sometimes I like to go for a walk and pray the rosary.  Or Ask for an intercession.  Or just meditate and try to her God outside. 

I do get a little jealous of people who have a prayer spot in their home.  Like a little chapel in a quiet place, free of distraction to sit (or kneel) and pray.  Just a small table with a crucifix or statue, candles and the bible tells people when you are there it is time for you to be with God.

I guess the lesson learned is Jesus is always listening,  no matter where you are.  Just try to find a place you can devote to prayer.  Realize that some places may lead to distraction, but try to keep in the moment and bring yourself back to prayer when you can,

Doubting Thomas

Traditionally when a Catholic gets confirmed they choose a Saint's name.  When I was confirmed that really wasn't done, but I chose a Saint anyway.  My Saint was Thomas the Apostle.  More commonly known as Doubting Thomas. 

I wish we knew more about the original members of the Church.  That includes Thomas.  We do have one story about Thomas that we pull directly from the Gospels.

Following the resurrection Jesus appeared to the Apostles.  But Thomas wasn't there.  When the others told Thomas about seeing Jesus, Thomas had his doubts.  He said ne needed to see the nail marks and feel the marks and the wound in Jesus's side or he would not believe.

When Jesus returned later, this time in Thomas's presence.  Jesus offed to allow Thomas to feel his wounds, and immediately Thomas believed.  Jesus said:

"Have you come to believe because you have seen me?  Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed"  -John 20

So is it OK to have doubts?  In today's society we are filled with reasons to have doubts.  We have scientists explaining to us why things happen without God.  We have the secular media telling us religion is not necessary in the today's world.  We even have friends and family who are separated from their faith.

It's easy to have doubts.  But I think that's ok.  Jesus realized that its is hard to believe things that are unseen sometimes.  Jesus knows what's in our hearts, so we can take solace in the fact that he can see deep down that we believe.  But its important that we show on the outside by our actions that we believe as well.  We need to pray, go to Church and follow the Commandants.

We all have a little Doubting Thomas in us-but we are also blessed because we believe even if we haven't seen.

Amen!

One of the most important words in our faith is "Amen."  We say it all the time.  Every prayer end with it.  We use it as a response during mass multiple times.

Are way saying it without thinking?  When we say "Amen" what are we actually saying?

Jesus often started his teachings with saying, "Amen, amen, I say to you" to let his Apostles know what he was about to say was important and true.  When we say "Amen" we should be saying it with the same conviction.  We should be affirming that what we are responding to is accurate.

• When we do the Sign of the Cross we say amen to show we believe in the Trinity.
• We say amen after the creed to verify that those are true statements of our faith.
• We say amen after the Our Father to verify those are the actual words and sentiments of Jesus when he taught his Apostles to pray.
• We say amen when we receive communion to show we believe that the Eucharist is the actual Body and Blood of Christ.
• We say amen at the end of mass to verify we understand our duty to spread the gospel.

So don't just say "Amen" without realizing you are expressing your faith in the belief in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  Be proud of your belief in the tenants of the Catholic Church when you say "Amen!"

  

11/16/24-My Treatment Journey

Cancer is complicated.  I find myself pretty ignorant overall.  In this case ignorance is not bliss, it's frustrating.

I am about 6 months into my time as a cancer patient.  Before this all started cancer was a mystery to me.  I didn't know very much about cancer or how it was treated.  And now, 6 months later I still am surprised how little I know about cancer.

I know there are many different forms of cancer.  Some are better studied than others. Depending on how far along the cancer is leads to different types of treatment.  Along with that comes different expectations for success in the treatment.

Cholangiocarcinoma is a rare cancer, with little study.  It is found relatively late.  I get the impression that the doctors struggle to come up with an established treatment plan since even at late stages the cancer is difficult to monitor.

Its frustrating to go through all this treatment and not really having a firm plan or knowing what the expectations are for my life.  All I can count on is more chemotherapy. 

I think of my treatment as a journey on a ship.  On the horizon there are rocks in my path ahead that will eventually cause me to sink. Chemotherapy is keeping my speed relatively slow so the rocky shore stays distant.  I know there might be other things I can do to that might slow the ship's speed down, but no matter what the rocky shore keeps getting closer.  And someday I will hit that shore and sink.

Although I don't want to hit that shore, I accept its out there, and inevitably I will reach it someday.  Just not someday soon, I hope.  

How did Jesus Choose Who to Save?

Jesus preformed many miracles that are documented in the bible.  He changed water into wine.  He healed the sick.  He raised the dead.  I'm sure he did more things that were not documented by the writers in the bible.

How did Jesus chose who to carry out his graces on?

At Capernaum, a paraplegic was healed when his friends lowered him down through a hole in the roof.  Jesus raised Jairus daughter, the widow's son at Nain and his friend Lazarus when he saw the faith and sorrow and faith of their relatives.

It seems to me that Jesus values not just the faith of a person but their friends and relatives.  He saved people who had faith, as well as the people close to them.

So it's important to to pray and have faith not just to save ourselves, but to save our friends and family.  Pray for the redemption of not only our soul but for the soul of those close to us and at the final judgement maybe Jesus will save them because our faith.

No Time to Pray

Day to day life is busy.  We have to work, oversee our social network presence, maintain friendships, manage families, watch Yellowstone, eat and sleep-just to name a few.  So God must understand if we can't find time for prayer, right?

Newsflash-He doesn't.

There are 24 hours in a day; the same 24 hours that our forbearers were able to find enough time to forge relationships with God and become Saints.  If they can do it we can find time to spend with God as well.

So when can we pray?

• When we wake up, before we get out of bed, before we check our phone, we can say a quick morning prayer thanking Jesus for a night's sleep and asking for his guidance for the day.
• Most of us drive alone somewhere on a daily basis.  Why not use that time to pray?  Download a audio rosary and put that on the radio.  Dedicating your drive to a decade or two of the rosary and Mary can help make you arrive safely at your destination.
• Why have we gotten away from thanking God for our meals?  It seems so easy to spend 30 seconds to acknowledge God's role in providing us the food we need to survive.
• When going to sleep we should take a minute reflecting on the day.  We can look at what went well, what went poorly and how we can make tomorrow better.  We should thank god for his role in our day and ask him for a refreshing night of sleep.

If we look for free time and utilize those to spend time with God, I think we would all be surprised how much time we can spend in prayer.  And we might still have time to watch Yellowstone as well.

The Holy Spirit

Whenever we recite the creed at mass or as part of the rosary, we summarize our beliefs as Catholics.  It starts with God, our creator.  The majority of the creed directly addresses Jesus, his role on earth, his resurrection and presence at the final judgement.  Then there's a list of our other beliefs-the Holy Spirit, the church, communion with the saints, forgiveness of sins, resurrection of the body and life everlasting.

Why is the Holy Spirit, a divine part of the Trinity, equal to the God the Father and Jesus his son buried in a list of the "leftover" beliefs?  Shouldn't he have a part of the creed equal to the rest of the Trinity?

I really don't know the answer to this question.  But it seems like we tend to forget about the Holy Spirit sometimes.  We always talk about praying to God or Jesus.  We honor Mary or the Saints.  What role does the Holy Spirit have in our day to day life?

Pope Benedict had similar thoughts.  In 2008 he called the Holy Spirit the "Neglected person of the Blessed Trinity."  In the bible we are taught that the Holy Sprit is a tongue of fire or a dove that just shows up sometimes.

I would argue as a layman in my faith, trying to learn more every day, the Holy Spirit might be more important today for us then even The Father and The Son.  Remember the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son.  It is through their love that the Holy Spirit constantly intercedes in our life and guides us in our decisions to become closer to God.

The Holy Spirit protects the Word of God in both the inspiration for the bible and its interpretation by the clergy.  He puts us in communion with the Church in mass.  He intercedes for our good and it is through him that we receive the sacraments.  He helps grow the Church by inspiring us to be closer to our faith and finding our vocations.

Let's not forget The Holy Spirit in our prayers and recognize his role in our life.  Remember its "The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit," distinct and equal members of the Trinity.

Naughty or Nice

When you have done all that you have been commanded to do say, "We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we are obliged to do." -Luke 17

As we prepare for Christmas we will see many advertisements about being on "Santa's Naughty or Nice List."  

I wonder if God has a similar list.  I pray every day.  I keep The Commandments.  I go to church every week.  I treat my neighbor well.  So I must be on God's good list, right?  And I should get special privileges because of it just like good children get presents at Christmas.  I wonder what God will bring me?

Today's Gospel tells us we are God's servants.  Praying, worshiping, and following the Commandments are what we are supposed to do.  We don't get special benefits just for doing what you are expected to do.  That's not how this works.

Serving the Lord does not entitle us to special rewards.  By realizing that following Jesus we can become more open to His graces and we become more ready to realize how the Lord can work through us to become the person He created us to be.

We shouldn't expect God to look at us any different than any of his other creations, He loves us all.  By realizing we are only doing what He expects of us does not make any of us better than anyone else.  

till, I'd rather be on God's nice list, and not on the naughty one.

11/12/24-My Favorite Veteran

Yesterday was Veteran's Day.  I wanted to write something about being a veteran or my time in the Navy, but I really wasn't inspired as to any particular topic.  As a rule here, if I'm not inspired to write I don't write.  So I didn't write, but am back to celebrate Veteran's Day today.

As I look back on my life one of the things I'm most proud of is my time in the Navy.  I accomplished much in the 10 years and I as I look back the time in the Navy changed me from an immature youth to a mature man.  My time in the Navy was never guaranteed to be a success without the relationships to the people I served with.

There is no way I could ever list all the people who I met in the Navy who made a difference in my  life, but I will always remember fondly the effect of people like Matt Brimmer in boot camp and Preston Hoops in my time as a fellow ELT on the USS Hampton.

When I joined the Navy I was not a great sailor.  I was not ready for what was expected of me.  Boot camp was a struggle.  I actually messed up the first task we had to do, labeling our uniforms.  I was particularly disliked my our company commander because I was one of the worst marchers in the history of the Navy.  Following up boot camp I went to training and things went better for me because I felt more at home in the classroom than on the grinder doing marching practice.

While I felt ready knowledge wise to get to the fleet, I still struggled to make connections with people.  And spending literally 24 hours with the same people for months on end made this a necessary skill just as important as any nuclear chemistry I was responsible for.

Luckily, I met my favorite Veteran, Don Golden.  I don't remember how we met, but I'm quite sure it was he who made the initial attempts at forging a relationship.  To make a long story short, over the next 5 years the time we spent together made my time on the Hampton bearable.  We spent hours talking while on watch behind maneuvering, or on the ladder between our watch stations.  On liberty overseas we planned our time together (except that time when he went across the Straight of Gibraltar to Africa).

There were many highlights. Like the time we got into a random taxi in Naples and our driver, who we nicknamed Mario, weaved through traffic like a race car driver ending up on a volcano.  Or the time in Greece we walked into a bar, only to find out it was not the type of bar we expected.  The smell strange smell made us realize we were not going to be able to get a beer there and if we hung out too long we risked failing a urinalysis if called when we returned to the boat.  You never knew what was going to happen when you spent the day with Don.

It even worked out well that our wives got along.  We could always take solace in the fact that when we were gone for 6 moths at a time, Katie and Cindy were there to support each other.

We both moved on to different duty stations after our time on the Hampton.  I think we both thought we would remain in touch, but as things usually go for me, we drifted apart.  I am as horrible at keeping relationships going as I am at forming them in the first place, so its probably my doing that has left our friendship in the state it is now.  I wish we could be close again.

That being said, I hope Don knows that I still think if him as a friend and thank him for all he has done for me.  Those years on the Hampton could have been some of the longest and most lonely of my life had Don not became my friend.  He was a big part in me becoming the husband and father I am today.  He is major influence on me and the man I am today.

I value every moment we spent together.  I value him as a friend.  I value him as a role model (since he is older than me).

Thanks for being there, Don, my favorite Veteran.

Limits on Forgiveness

If your brother sins, rebuke him;  if he repents, forgive him.  If he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, "I am sorry," you should forgive him.   -Luke 17:3-4

The last time I was preparing for confession I thought to myself, "All of my sins are repeats.  What is Jesus going to think if I keep having the same sin?"  Jesus forgiveness knows no limits according to this bible passage.  He always forgives my sins.

I wish I was more forgiving.  If someone came to me 7 times saying sorry my likely reply would likely be an annoyed, "Not this time.  If you really want to be forgiven maybe stop doing the same thing over and over again."  As in all things, I need to use Jesus as my example in forgiveness of my neighbor.

And if I can't forgive my neighbor, I shouldn't expect their forgiveness when I say sorry.  Believe me, I need all the forgiveness I can get. 

 

He Puts You to the Test-When He Knows You Are Ready

When you are dealing with a health issue its hard not say "Why me?"  In my case I feel like I'm still relatively young.  I have always made exercise a priority.  Never smoked.  No alcohol.

Compared to other people its hard to not be a little jealous that someone who seems to live a less healthy life still be living into their 80's or more.

But I have realized a few things in reflecting over this situation.

1.  You can't compare your life to anyone else.  Everyone is an individual.  Everyone deals with individual issues that you may or not be aware of.
2. There is no room in life for jealously.  The only judge of a person's situation and worthiness is God.
3. God only puts you to the test when you need it.  You need to trust in God that when you do face a life's test He knows you are ready to deal with it.

Am I facing a life changing situation?  Yes-without a doubt.   But rather than feel sorry for myself or angry that I am facing it rather than someone else, I need to put my confidence in Jesus that he put this on me because I knows I am ready to deal with it.  I just need to put my trust in Jesus to take care of me.  I need to allow Jesus to live through me and let his will be done.  By his will and the Grace of our heavenly mother, Mary, He will take care of me.

He's in the House

Today the Catholic Church celebrates The Feast of the Dedication of the Lateran Basilica.  This is the Pope's actual church in Rome.

I was reflecting on the Churches in the world as I thought about the Feast.  Churches are without a doubt some of the most beautiful buildings in the world.  Just a quick Google search will result in churches of various faith groups showing their honor to God in large spires, stained glass, statues and vast halls.  The architecture is amazing, especially when you realize that many of the churches were built 100's of years ago and may have taken a decades to complete.

But those are just buildings.  The most important thing to remember is that the Church is God's house.  In the catholic faith we believe that in the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Jesus.  After communion, the unconsumed hosts are placed in the tabernacle and remain in the church for the next mass.  So the church is not just a building, but a dwelling place for Jesus.  While Jesus lives in the biggest and most famous Catholic Cathedrals, he also lives in the smallest Catholic community Churches.

The other place he lives is within us.  When we receive the body and blood of Christ at the mass our body becomes a small church, a tabernacle for the living God.  At that moment we are truly one with Jesus.  That's why it's important we do what we can to be ready to receive him and make our body a worthy dwelling place for the Lord.

11/9/24-Having Value

What is the value of a human?  In my opinion, there seems to be a few ways to look at this question. 

First, I think if you just look at the raw materials in the human body, the elements that make up our organs and the fact that a large portion of the body is just water, the matter that makes a human is probably not worth a lot of money.

Secondly, I think you can look at the value of the body as what is it worth to someone else.  Its extremely morbid but organs can be purchased on the black market for millions of dollars.

I don't like either of those ways to measure the value of a person.  I prefer to not look at the value of the life of a human.  What does a person contribute to their family, friends and society should be what we look at when we access the worth of a person.

For the past 4 months I have spent much of my time sitting around the house.  I passed my time watching Netflix or YouTube.  I did attempt to start some new hobbies.  I wasn't able to do much physically because of  the medical limitations of the cancer treatments and the external drains.  While it was nice to spend some time with my family, being stuck on the couch for such a long time was pretty depressing.  It was not the way I lived my adult life for the last 30 years.

I take pride in my work.  In the Navy I made sure that I worked hard and did my best to get the job done.  When I got to Kasier I tried to keep that same work ethic in my daily tasks.  I wanted to be someone that my bosses depended on and had confidence in.  I wanted to be a person my coworkers would ask for help.

But for the last 4 months I wasn't able to work.  My daily life didn't have a purpose.  It didn't have any value.

The good news is that I am at a stable point in my treatments right now.  I don't think I'm necessarily getting better, but I don't feel like I'm getting worse.  And the external drains are gone for now.  And this new stability has finally allowed me to get back to work.  I'm only able to work part timeand with some physical limitations, but I finally fell like I'm able to be useful part of a team again.  And that has helped my mental healing.

And, more importantly,  I'm making a contribution.  The value of my daily life has gone up. 

Ways to Pray-Lectio Divina

I struggle with prayer.  I just don't feel like I'm good at it.  I'm always trying to improve on everything I do, and there can be nothing more important to get good at than talking to God.

So over the next few days I am planning on reflecting on different ways to pray.

Today I am looking at Lectio Divina.  Its the practice of reading and contemplating on a scripture passage.  As I understand there are 4 steps.

1. Lectio-Read a passage.
2. Meditatio-Reflect and imagine being part of the passage.
3. Oratio-Respond to the passage by praising God, asking for grace or healing.
4. Comtemplatio-Contemplation on the passage trying to experience the text as a reality.

Seems simple enough.  I feel the Holy Spirit lives in the scripture.  So evoking a bible passage will help me use the Holy Spirit as a conduit to improving my prayer.

So I'm committing to 5 days of Lectio Divina.  Maybe it will work for me...maybe not.  But I know I can always have it in my prayer toolbox.

Would You Risk 99 for the Sake of 1? Jesus Would.

Today's Gospel includes one of the parables that I always find hard to understand in how we value things today.  Luke says that when questioned about eating with sinners Jesus says, "What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it?"

Whenever I hear this question I always find myself thinking I don't understand how it makes sense to risk 99 of anything to try to save one.

But not all sheep are equal.  Jesus says "There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance."

And that's what I need to remember, Jesus spent time with sinners because their value in becoming part of his flock is more important than someone already faithful to God.  Getting someone to realize their faith and to get on the path to Heaven is worth celebrating.

And its up to us, hopefully part of the flock of 99 righteous sheep give the time and effort to bring back the lost sheep out there.  Spread the Word of God to family and friends who may have wondered off.  That's what Jesus would do. 

 

Election Day and A Our Tattered Nation

"Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself will not stand." Matthew 12:25

Yesterday was Election Tuesday in the United States.  I found it a telling consequence as I was preying the Daily Rosary we pray The Sorrowful Mysteries as we chose our leaders and make national decisions.  Does the mean God sad about the state of America?

Enough about that, I have made my feelings about where we are as a country in other places.

What does concern me here is the state of the more important nation, the one that lives on forever, the Kingdom of God.

I am by no means an expert on Church history or other religions.  But I am trying to learn.

I will focus on the monotheistic religions, as I do put value in the First Commandment and what Jesus later rephrased and called the Greatest Commandment.  Simply it puts says we should worship God above all.  There is no mention of there being more than one God.

This may be somewhat oversimplified but at the time of Jesus that means we focus on the Jewish and Muslim religions.  Then Jesus crested his church, Christianity.  St. Ingantius of Antioch used the term Catholic Church (meaning universal in Greek) to describe the Christianity around 110 AD.

Things continued as until the time of the schisms that spit The Catholic Church started shortly after 1000 AD.  The disputes ranged from the political, the theological, the liturgical and geographical.  Over the next 500 years factions formed in the Christian Church.  Many people left to different forms of Protestantism.

I don't even pretend to know the differences in the many sects of the Christian Churches.  I think we differ on how we feel about the sacraments of Baptism and the Eucharist.  We differ on how we honor Virgin Mary.  We tend to view parts of the Bible with a different set of eyes.  There are definite differences in how tied we are to some traditions of Church (see any social network site for examples).  

Even though we do have our differences, we are all Christians and believe in the sacrifice of Jesus for our sins and his resurrection three days later.  We do coexist mostly peacefully today.  Maybe we can find a way to remember our similarities and reunify in the future.  It will be difficult because our differences seem to have so nasty (again, social network is the bast source for examples).

If we can reunify the Christians in some way we can then turn our visions to the long lasting division between the 3 monotheistic religions.  There are basic foundational differences between Muslimism, Judaism and Christianity.  In this case it might be more reasonable to look to becoming more knowledgeable and respectful of people with other views.  I used to think this was impossible until I visited Jerusalem.  Standing in a single spot you can see some of the most holy places in the world.  Somehow Jews can worship at the Western Wall, Christians can line up to worship at the Church of the Holy Sepulture where the Crucifixion happened, all under the shadow of the Dome of the Rock where Muslims believed Mohammad journeyed to heaven.  For the most part they area able to peacefully exist despite their large ideological differences.

Maybe this shows some hope for the Christian Churches to reunify someday.  Our differences are nothing compared to what goes on in this couple of miles in Jerusalem.  I pray for understanding and tolerance, so that maybe we Christians can reunify under the one True Church.  As Jesus stated if we remain divided against ourself we cannot stand. 

How to Become a Saint: Step 3-The Secret Weapon

When I was in the Navy I had a security clearance.  I was allowed to know things that the nation felt was important to keep a secret for the security of the country.

So, with this post I'm, giving you a security clearance.  I'm going to tell you the big secret in how to become a Saint.  Make sure you are alone in a quiet place so no one else can hear this covert fact, the secret weapon to Sainthood.

Here it is. You are already a Saint.

Remember, we were all created in God's image.  We were not created to be Gods ourselves but God wanted us to be his companions.  We were created in God's image to be with Him in heaven.  So how is that not being born a Saint?

This begs the question why isn't everyone a Saint then?  Here is where we tend to go wrong.  In order to enter heaven and receive our Sainthood, we need to give our lives to Jesus and follow his will.  Jesus died for our sins, but he was also an example of how to live our life as humans.  He continues to look out for us and lead us on the pathway to heaven.

But we tend to forget this fact and lead lives away from God.  Even as believers we might forget Jesus during the week and try to make up for it by an hour on the weekend at Church.  We might ignore the Holy Spirit trying to warn us when we veer of the right path.  Through history, our Mother, The Virgin Mary, has come back down in visions to remind us of the glory we are entitled to.  But we choose to ignore her.

Our thoughts and actions take the glorified soul we were created as by God and turn it into less than a Saint.

But it's not too late.  Live close to God.  Follow the example of Jesus.  Hear the Holy Spirit warn us when we go off track.  Follow the lessons of Mary at Fatima and other motherly visions.

Do this and we can again become the Saints that God intended us to be, the Saints we already were before we made mistakes and jeopardized our Soul.  We were born as Saints.  Sainthood is our destiny.  We just need to not botch it up.  Jesus is infallible, so by faithfully living through Him it is impossible to mess up our path to Sainthood.  You just need to do it.

11/4/24-It's Election Day

Every leap year on the first Tuesday in November, in the United States, we make history.  We choose leaders who will guide the country until we get to choose leaders again.  Voting is a right that all citizens can exercise.  People have died defending this right.

I used to be into politics.  I followed the polls on election day.  I grew up with friends with varying opinions on politics and politicians.  But I think that even though we didn't agree all the time we were respectful of each other's feelings and choices.  We were able to discuss why we voted for what we did, without effecting our relationship.  I think when I was young people identified themselves as Americans first, then as members of what party or policies they supported.

Obviously, was not alive during the Civil War or The Vietnam War.  Those were times when the United States was divided over an issue or issues.  This division led to violent protests, assassinations, and even the dissolving of the country into a bloody war.  So I can't compare the political climate we face today with any other period in history.  But it seems as if we are at a crossroads as a country.

There have been many world empires in history.  The Greeks, The Egyptians and The Mongols have all been major worldwide powers in history who have had their confederations end.  One of the biggest and longest lasting was the Roman Empire.  The Roman Empire proper lasted for 500 years.   If the Eastern Byzantine Empire is included historians can argue the remnants of the Roman Empire were in parts of the world for another 1000 years.

So how does such a powerful, long lasting empire come to an end.  In "The Fall of the Roman Empire" it was theorized that there were an number of events that led to the ending of the Roman Empire.  A pandemic caused loss of population.  Climate change effected the ability to recruit for the military, to trade and grow food.  The Roman Empire faced a migrant crisis, political crisis and a financial crisis.  Political strife led to extorsion and corruption.  Religious dispute turned into moral decline.

I don't think it is difficult to see a reflection of the events that led to end or the Roman Empire in The United States today.  And that disappoints me.

I am proud to be an American.   I joined the Navy to be a part of the United States presence in the world.  On a submarine we were a projection of the tip of the spear of American sea power.  By bring out there we were defending the US from enemies, foreign and domestic.  I accepted the fact that given the situation I might have been asked to give my life in defense of the country.  The chances were small, but I think I would have been honored to do so. 

I still love this country.  It is the best country in the world.  Maybe in the history of the world.  But I miss being able to discuss issues without being worried about being shut down, socially ostracized or risk hurting someone feelings.  We should never be afraid to say what we believe.  It's part of being free.

  

We are supposed to have opposing opinions.  We are supposed to respect those opinions.  We are supposed to respect the people with those opinions.  We are supposed to be proud to be patriotic Americans.

"In the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." -Barack Obama

My hope is that we can go back to remembering what we have in common as Americans to strengthen the republic rather than be ashamed of events in our history that divide us.  We are still a young country, and may have made mistakes in our growth.  But rather then erasing them we should learn from our past, lest we make similar mistakes in the future.  And the best wat to do so is to get back to respectful discussion and considerate debate.  Maybe this can even lead to a word that seems to be foreign in politics today: compromise.

In any case, if you haven't voted yet, you should try to get out today if you are registered to do so.  It's our responsibly as citizens of The United States to do so.

And whatever the results of this vote are hopefully we can have a fair and just election.  And that the transfer of power will go without incident.  And that we can get back to making this country great again.

"If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen." -Ronald Reagan

 

 

How to Become a Saint: Step 2-Your Sainthood Team

On All Saints Day I was watching some various homilies and thoughts on the day from the experts on faith and Catholicism.  One of my personal favorites is Father Mike Schmitz.  His 2023 homily really struck a chord with me.  I will summarize parts of the sermon here, but I encourage you to get it straight from the source by clicking this link.

Father Mike likened becoming a Saint to an Ironman Triathlon.  Immediately, I was interested as 20 years ago I finished the 2.4mi swim, the 112mi bike and the 26.2mi marathon run and heard those words "You are an Ironman."  The rules have eased over the last 15 years ago, but it used to be very strict.  An Ironman race started at 7am with thousands of people starting the swim together and in order to be considered a finished you needed to cross the finish line by midnight.  That gives 17 hours to finish the race and be an official finisher.

When it gets close to that midnight time limit it became tradition for people who had already finished the race to return to the finish line to cheer on the final racers for the day.  Father Mike talks specifically about an Ironman Canada, but I've seen and heard of this happening numerous times late in Ironman Triathlons.  With the stands at the finish line full in the last half hour of the race, the announcer says he hears about a racer who is struggling, 2 miles down the road, but has only 15 minutes to finish the race to be an official Ironman.  Running 2 miles in 15 minutes is not impossible, but remember this a person who has been going non-stop since 7am.  So finishing the race is definitely not a certainly.  So  people then leave the stands to go down the road to encourage and run with this individual.  Over the next few minutes more people go to meet the racer and encourage him.  They want this person to experience of becoming an Ironman like them. 

When the racer gets near the finish line and makes that final turn they have a crowd of Ironman behind them helping and encouraging them to finish the race so they can hear the words, "You are an Ironman."

So how does this relate to Sainthood?  Like becoming and Ironman becoming a Saint is a race.  The racecourse is life.  And like the Ironman we have a team behind us, helping and encouraging us to finish the race.  All the Saints who have already finished before us are there running with us to the finish line.  We are never trying to run the race of life alone.  Pushing us to the finish are St. John, St. Joan of Arc, St. Pope John Paul, and all the Saints.  Your own Sainthood team.  The Saints want you to experience becoming a Saint like them.

We just need to follow our team's encouragement to get to the finish line, with the crowd of Saints behind us, where St. Peter says the words, "You are a Saint."

 

How to Become a Saint: Step 1-Finding Flaws

This year in my goal to better understand and become more connected to my faith, I have completed a couple of cycles of the Marian Consecration.  It is a way of completely devoting one's life to the Virgin Mary and offering oneself to Jesus through Mary.

As I understand the idea for committing to Mary as a way to reach Jesus was first started in the 1600's by French Priest St. Louis de Montfort.  More recently it was reestablished by St. Maximilian Kolbe (who should be the patron Saint of Beard-Growing) in the 1920's and 1930's.  In either case there is a series of 33 days of daily reflection before praying to commit to Mary.

In the case of St. Kolbe's consecration the daily prayers always included "...become a Saint.  A great Saint."

This was always uncomfortable to me to say.  I'm not a Saint.  I'm definitely not a great Saint.  I have faults.  I have made mistakes.  I have spent parts of my life distanced from Jesus.  I can't be a Saint.

Or can I?

I think the first step to becoming a Saint is the realization that even the Saints we admire probably had faults.  St. Paul was a Roman who persecuted Jews and early Christians.  Before his conversion St. Augustine pursued a life paganism and had a child out of wedlock.  St. Pelagia and St. Mary of Egypt were well known seductresses.  

More recently, in the 1800's, Bl. Bartolo Longo described himself as an atheist and  "Satanic Priest."  During his beatification St. Pope John Paul called Fr. Longo the "Apostle of the Rosary."  That's quite a turn around.

It seems like almost every Saint has a story of being distanced from God and a conversion that led them to return to their faith.

So maybe I can be a Saint.  Maybe we all can.

Being a Saint is not about being flawless.  Becoming a Saint is about working on flaws and using them to become perfect.

I want to end on this thought from one of those flawed individuals who became a Saint and a was named a Doctor of the Church, St. Augustine:

"There is no Saint without a past, no sinner without a future."

Let us realize our flaws and figure out how to use them to become Saints, great Saints.

All Souls Day-How to Get Out of Purgatory

Today is All Souls day.  It is a day for us to remember those who have gone before us, especially those still in purgatory being purified prior to being allowed to go to heaven.

As a Catholic we believe that all souls live on forever.  After the earthly life has ended all soils go to one of 3 places. 

The first is Heaven. This is where we will be reunited with God-Our Creator, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and all the Saints. This is a return to paradise for those whose souls are ready to receive the joy of Heaven.

The second option for souls is Hell. This is for those souls who do not merit ever being together with God. They live in eternal damnation apart from God.

The third option for deposition of a soul is purgatory.  I think this more of a Catholic specific belief but it is basically a place for those souls to be purified prior to entrance to heaven.  The Catechism of the Church says “All who die in God's grace and friendship l, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed ensured of eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.”

It would be interesting if getting out of Purgatory was as simple as getting out of jail in Monopoly, rolling doubles or getting a card from the chance pile, but it's not. It's our job on earth to help the souls waiting for entrance to heaven.

And that's what we should be remembering on All Souls Day.  Pray for and ask for indulgences for those undergoing the purification in Purgatory.  That they may go on to the joy of heaven.  And when they do they will remember us who have prayed for them so when we undergo the test they will be on our side defending us.  It's like we will have our own heavenly character witnesses waiting for us when St. Peter asks us if we are ready to go through the Pearly Gates.

So today I pray for all the soils in Purgatory, that they will be undergo a quick purification and proceed onto to not of eternal life in heaven.  Especially for the souls of those who have made a personal mark on my life with Jesus. 

Dad. Grandma. Frank Thornton. Captain Pavis. Herb and Mary Dean. Dr. Pezanoski. And Anyone I've forgotten.