S&F-Give Up 99 for 1

Jesus addressed this parable to the Pharisees and scribes:

"What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them

would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert

and go after the lost one until he finds it?"

-Luke 15

I think I might have written about this bible passage in the past, but I heard I take that I don't think I ever thought of before.

This is a very familiar passage to me, and for as long as I have heard it I have struggled with it.  Why would anyone leave 99 sheep, risking losing them, just to go after one?  That's bad risk analysis.  The shepherd should monitor the 99 and protect them from getting lost and the other hazards they may run into from other shepherds trying to lead them astray or wolves trying to outright take them for their own.  It really makes no sense.

I always though I was part of the 99.  But this week I put myself in the role of the lost sheep.  I would be afraid out there on my own, looking for my master.  Hoping beyond all hope that he won't give up on me.  Looking for his love and protection.

I think I am the one lost sheep.  Jesus is out there with the fence open calling me.  I am trying to find my way home.  I hope I am heading the right way.  It is through a journey of hope, faith, repentance and most especially the Eucharist that I am looking for my master.  Someday I hope he will welcome me home, opening the gate and we can be together in Heaven.

6/28/25-A Diatribe

I haven't posted here in a little while.  The reason for my silence is not that I didn't have things to say, but that I am not sure how to say them.

I think I have eluded to this in the past, but over the past month I  find myself very frustrated in the state of the world and how people relate to one another.  And it really bothers me.

I am a pretty opinionated person and I like to debate things.  I am always up for a discussion of people's opinions or current events.  My love of debate is one of the things Cindy hates about me more than anything else (and I'm sure there are a lot of things she hates about me).

The reason I like to debate is not to change peoples opinions or to have them change mine, but I really like to understand other points of view and why people feel the way they do.

The problem today is those types of debates are not allowed.  No one wants to hear how other people feel unless they feel the same as them.  It's just an echo chamber of confirmation bias.

Take politics, it doesn't matter what side of the aisle you are on, people gravitate to news sources that will tell the story with a lean to their chosen position.  No one seems to want to hear from the opposing viewpoint.

The news itself has become a overblown editorial page.  Back in the day (here I am sounding like an old guy), reporters would report a story focusing on the facts and allow the viewer (or reader) to formulate their own opinion.  But today the newsperson seems to feel their opinion is part of the news and always interjects it into their story.

If you made it this far into this post I'm proud of you for putting up with my little diatribe, and hopefully I won't lose you.  Because I consider you a friend no matter what your leanings are politically or socially.  And I respect your feelings.

But here I go.  I am a middle-aged white male.  I feel it is important to protect life from conception to natural death.  I support the existence of a Jewish state in the Middle East and its actions to protect itself from enemies that have the stated goal to try to exterminate Jews from the it face of the Earth.  I love the United States and think it is important to protect itself by enforcing just laws.

I could go on but I'm sure I have already upset many of you.  Believe me when I say that was not my goal in this post.  What I actually would love is for this post to encourage healthy discussion.  As I said I really want to understand why people believe the things they do.  And the only way to do that is to talk.  We have more ways than ever to have healthy conversations with message apps or Facebook comments.

I miss the days when we could just agree to disagree.  Friendship was based on finding commonalities in activity or interest.  And if friends had issues that could not be agreed on it was ok.  It was ok to make light of those differences of opinion and even joke about them.  The important thing was the mutual respect people had and enjoying their time together.

I think this has gone on long enough.  I do consider you all friends and hope the feeling is mutual.  I just needed to get this off my chest to get back to more lighthearted and (hopefully) positive posts in the future. 

S&F-The Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ

Today we celebrate the presence of the body and blood in the Eucharist at every mass.  

I talk a lot about the reunification of the Christian churches under the Church that Jesus started.  I don't pretend to be an expert on the protestant schism, but I know that one of the things that separates us is the belief that the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Jesus and not just a symbol.  More concerning, there was a survey several years ago that Catholics in levels up to 70% don't believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.  Catholics thinking the Eucharist is a just symbol is misunderstanding one of the basic tenets of the Catholic faith.

Why do we believe in transubstantiation and the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist?  I have heard of many proofs of this but the one I keep coming back to is part of the "Bread of Life" discourse in John 6.  Jesus said:

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you."

Jesus's followers questioned this.  They asked “How can this man give us [his] flesh to eat?”  Some left him, not being able to accept this teaching.

Seeing his followers leaving, if the Eucharist was just supposed to be a symbol and not the actual Body and Blood of Christ Jesus would have said so here.  But instead he doubled down, repeating that we need to truly consume the Body and Blood of Christ to get eternal life.

Jesus asked the followers who remained:

   “Do you also want to leave?”

If I was asked that I would hopefully reply as Peter did.  "“Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

I love the fact that I get to become one with Jesus every week at the mass in the Eucharist, the true Body and Blood of Christ. 

S&F-Prayer of the Week: The Sign of the Cross

This past Sunday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity.  So it only seems fitting to concentrate of the prayer proclaiming the Trinity:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The simplest of all prayers is one of the most important.  We say it all the time, both as part of other prayers and on its own.  It is the first prayer most children learn.

It draws attention to the first mystery of the church, a single God in three forms.  This is difficult for us to accept as humans.  And that's the beauty of it.  Having faith while not understanding is what shows God is worth our worship.  Is a God that could be explained really worth our worship?

I sometimes think when I pray who should I be praying to?  God-the Father, God-the Son, or God-The Holy Spirit?  But this short little prayer tells me it doesn't matter which part of the Trinity I address my prayers to.  Whether as the Father, Son or the Holy Spirit-God is listening.

S&F-I'm Listening

Over the past year there have been many times where I wonder why I got sick.  I believe that God doesn't do things without reason, so why am I fighting cancer?  Last afternoon was one of those times when I found myself thinking, "Why me?"

One of the things I have found over the past couple of years as I have become closer to God is that sometimes he tells me what I need to hear.  This week's second reading is one of those times where I feel like God was talking to me.

 "...We even boast of our afflictions,

knowing that affliction produces endurance,

and endurance, proven character,

and proven character, hope,

and hope does not disappoint,

because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts

through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."

-Romans 5

Paul reminds me we can be proud of our afflictions because they can make us stronger.  Through strength, we improve character and be given hope-and this is all because of the love of God given to us through the Holy Spirit.

In my case, there were many time over the course of my life where I think I was being called to God and my response was always something like, "It's not the right time," or "Maybe next year."  I think God was sick of waiting for me and that's why he allowed me to get cancer.

When I was a kid I saw the altar servers every week.  Part of me felt the calling to become one of them, but I was a shy public school kid and never followed through.

When I was a teenager, God called me to the mystery of the Eucharist when preparing for Confirmation.  That could have been a signal that God had a mission for me in his Church.  But I wasn't ready to listen.

In the Navy God put me in a situation that I was responsible for the weekly Catholic services and the distribution of the Eucharist when we were at sea.  Obviously God was trying to get my attention for some increase in my vocation, but I wasn't ready to hear him.

I remember before I left the Navy I ran into a Religious Program Specialist.  Was God showing me I could still represent my Country and spread his word?  Maybe, but at that moment I really just wanted to move on with my life and do what I thought was best for my family.

God took my Dad before his time.  I was always proud of his conversion to the Catholic Church.  One of the first tings I committed to was to take his spot as a Eucharistic Minister as soon as I was able.  Was God calling be back again for something bigger?

Over the past 20 years I have continued to hear his call to become more involved in the Church.  I have heard him call me to join organizations in our parish.  Maybe next year.  I have even been been drawn to finding out if I could become a Deacon and be able to proudly preach with the Priest.  But I was not confident enough in myself to ever follow through and find out more about it.  Still not listening.

My life had become a series of calls from God.  Calls that I felt I wasn't ready for or wasn't worthy of.

Then I got cancer.  I feel, through my affliction, stronger.  Cancer has shown me my true character as a member of God's family.  I hope He calls me to whatever vocation or path he has for me.  Because, finally, I am ready to listen.

6/13/25-Getting Better?

Since I got sick I have heard a lot of people say things like, "You are looking better" or "I hope they figure out how to cure you."

I usually reply with a "Thanks."  I appreciate the thought, but downplay their notion.

The reality for someone with a chronic or terminal illness is that you never get better.  There are some days that are better than others, but in reality those days are just days when things didn't get worse.  A victory for someone in my situation is staying the same.

My life will never be what it was.  I realize that my days of running for 13 miles or getting on the bike and exploring the area for 2 hours are in the past.  I wanted to be the best engineer and get promoted.  I thought that doing things like that was my identity.  At least I thought it was.

But the good thing about cancer is that it really gives you the opportunity to figure out what is really important in life.  I'm a (average) husband.  I'm a (okay) father.  I'm (learning to be a better) Catholic.  I am a (bad) friend.

Those are the things that are really important and that I want to define me.  Cancer has shown me that.  Now I just need to get better at those things.  Hopefully, I can get rid of the part in parentheses.  I'm trying to at least.

So physically, no I'm not getting better.  And I never will.  But hopefully I'm a better person.  Or at least I am trying to be a better person than I was a year ago. 

 

S&F-Prayer of the Week: The Hail Mary

 The Hail Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you;
blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

This week I am focusing on one of the most beautiful of our prayers, The Hail Mary.  The words were taken from the Gospel of Luke, combining the words of the Angel Gabriel with the tribute that Elizabeth said to Mary during the Visitation.

This prayer, both honors and venerates Mary, the Mother of God.

I wish we used this prayer more.  The part that really stands out to me when I say it daily as part of the Rosary is the last two lines.

I can think of no other time in life that is full of unknown than the last hours of our life before death.  No one knows what is next.  It must have a sense of fear.  And in this time I think we are vulnerable to the influence of Satan.  So who better to ask to bring us comfort and guidance to the next step in everlasting life than our Spiritual Mother, Mary.  

I will continue to pray to Mary.  I will hope she is there at the final moment of my earthly life.  I hope she is with you as well.